tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49374624272985421322024-03-19T22:55:56.171-07:00Cheryl Chena writer's thoughts on balancing life and writingAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.comBlogger131125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-67588955705271499032015-02-12T11:55:00.000-08:002015-02-12T11:55:00.381-08:00Searching for "The One"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYVGLtStIctLxB4BB6dAP3OQctxkvB_4tuRGu41x0-q1OaLjirmiNpCH95NckyQFIAQjfZaGhwkO8stg9bTpa4f54LXtZGsx_ow9qsspM8osdLopgydDWlzbJ1N6Orms0Y0_OFX0oA2S4/s1600/dear_soulmate__by_xlizxangelx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYVGLtStIctLxB4BB6dAP3OQctxkvB_4tuRGu41x0-q1OaLjirmiNpCH95NckyQFIAQjfZaGhwkO8stg9bTpa4f54LXtZGsx_ow9qsspM8osdLopgydDWlzbJ1N6Orms0Y0_OFX0oA2S4/s1600/dear_soulmate__by_xlizxangelx.jpg" height="217" width="320" /></a></div>
<b>THE CHECKLIST BOYFRIEND</b><br />
<br />
When I was in middle school, I wrote a checklist of my requirements for my future husband.<b> </b>Everything I wrote were good things. I think its important to have some general personality traits in mind for your future spouse. After all, you don't want to marry just anyone.<br />
<br />
BUT...<br />
<br />
I began to envision this one man out there specifically set aside by God for me. I thought there was ONE guy, and I just had to find him in the sea of strangers. Once I met him, everything would fall into place. <br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<b>THERE'S SOMETHING BETTER</b><br />
<br />
That idea of soul mates has our generation is severely disillusioned. <br />
<br />
In relationships, we're looking for "the one", that one person who will be perfectly matched, someone we will never fight with or argue.<br />
<br />
In our careers, we're out searching for our "dream jobs". We think if we're not eager to wake up in the morning, whistling as we drive in traffic to our job, that something is missing and we need to keep looking for something we love to do.<br />
<br />
In our families, when presented with brokenness and instability, we go off looking for something else to fill that void, thinking that families aren't supposed to cause this much stress and heartache.<br />
<br />
In our churches, we amble along happy enough with the service and community until some drama arises. Then we jump ship, thinking there is a better church out there. <br />
<br />
Instead of working to improve the relationships and opportunities we have, we are more likely to pack up and move on when times get rough, convinced that something out there is better.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLhnchzl2sxWH1FsMeeq2FDG-JdP9vb2sY91EEZO8864jhXUP-rT0YoewsT8FPh2wHroVxXxN8J1j-jn6iHTx_gr3erDtBJzDAd7ThwtsxvOLYry-de6cDe0K1cw3z_IDBIET8H-BZgWo/s1600/grass-is-greener.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLhnchzl2sxWH1FsMeeq2FDG-JdP9vb2sY91EEZO8864jhXUP-rT0YoewsT8FPh2wHroVxXxN8J1j-jn6iHTx_gr3erDtBJzDAd7ThwtsxvOLYry-de6cDe0K1cw3z_IDBIET8H-BZgWo/s1600/grass-is-greener.jpg" height="400" width="281" /></a><b>THE PROBLEM</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Lately, I've been confronted with the fact that we're always wanting something more. I don't think this is a bad thing; its a natural reaction. The issue comes with the fact that we don't want to put in any effort to change.<br />
<br />
We complain about our marriages, our jobs, our friends, our parents, our churches. The irony is that if we put some time and effort into improving the areas we dislike, we would probably see more improvement.<br />
<br />
The problem lies with our belief that there is something better out there that is a perfect fit and wouldn't require so much effort. <br />
<br />
<b>THE SOLUTION</b><br />
<br />
I think the men and women of the yester-generation got one thing right: <b>hard work can take you far</b>. If something wasn't right, they worked to fix it. They sacrificed, put some elbow grease into it.<br />
<br />
This generation feels entitled, though we don't all agree on what we're entitled to. This idea of "the one" in our relationships, our jobs, and our lives has made us thinking there has got to be something better out there. We encounter brokenness and instead of facing it head on, we cling on to this idea of a perfect solution. We don't realize that satisfaction and happiness don't just happen naturally (or magically). <br />
<br />
I have since discovered that my relationships, my job situation, my church, my family are all much more rewarding if I put some effort into making it so. Instead of dreaming of green grass, I've taken time to prune and water and seen the results. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-husband-isnt-my-soul-mate-either.html" target="_blank">My husband isn't my soul mate. He's the one I've chosen.</a><br />
<br />
And that makes it all the more beautiful.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria. </i><br />
<br />
<i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/writercherylchen">Like me on Facebook! </a><br />
<br />
<i> </i>
<i> </i>
Related posts:<br /><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-husband-isnt-my-soul-mate-either.html" target="_blank">My Husband Isn't My Soulmate Either</a> </i><br />
<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/08/how-kissing-dating-goodbye-affected-my.html">How Kissing Dating Goodbye Affected My Marriage</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/09/loving-when-there-is-so-much-to-lose.html">Loving When There is So Much to Lose</a> <br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/misconceptions-of-marriage.html">Misconceptions of Marriage</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-better-one.html">When Two are Better than One</a> <br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/04/to-date-or-not-to-date.html">To Date or Not to Date</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-transition-from-my-to-our.html">The Transition from My to Our</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/12/til-death-do-us-part.html">'Til Death Do Us Part</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/08/525949-minutes-of-marriage.html">525,949 Minutes of Marriage</a></i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-3321656239355991372015-01-26T13:53:00.000-08:002015-01-26T13:53:00.146-08:00Top 3 Tips for a Great College Experience<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->I remember how daunting the prospect was to leave high school and start my college career. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff called Childhood and asked to jump into the ravine below called Adulthood. My toes curled on the edge of the rock, touching the open air. It was scary.<br />
<br />
As the co-leader of the college/career group at my church, I was asked to go to a high school senior retreat to share some of my top three tips to the anxious seniors. These could probably apply to life in general, so I thought I'd share them with you all. <br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">#1
– Be intentional.</span></b>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">In high
school, almost everything is predetermined for you by adults or conveniently
and readily available.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your schedule is
set by the school, you see (most if not all of) your friends five days a week,
and your parents drive you to church on Fridays and Sundays.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">When you’re
in college, the proverbial Pandora’s Box is opened and all of the sudden you
are in charge of your life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially
if you’re a commuter to campus (as I was all 4 years), you have to be really
intentional about how you spend your time, who your friends are, and what is
important to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The decisions you make
say a lot about your priorities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Decide
what those are and intentionally make decisions to demonstrate that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">#2
– Remember where you came from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Whether you
go out of state or live on campus, don’t forget your family and friends back
home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They shaped you and will continue
to if you make a place for them in your life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While you don’t need to come home every weekend or call your mom every
night, don’t forget that your support team back home misses you and wants to
know how you’re doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make time for
them (part of being intentional) and don’t forget how much you’ve learned and
gained from your home team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(PS – this
is also Biblical advice!) </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">#3
– Challenge yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">College and
independence give you a lot of new opportunities, both bad and good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keep your head on straight and think, but
also don’t be afraid to take a step of faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Do something that may be different from the norm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Join that
club, volunteer, sign up for an extracurricular class, get involved, talk to
someone new, befriend someone different, go to professor office hours, be Jesus
to those around you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You probably won’t
ever again have as much freedom and available opportunity as you do in this
season of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Going to college is a
privilege, not a right, so make sure you take advantage of the gift God has
given you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Like Me on Facebook! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><i>Related Posts:</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/05/what-graduation-means-4-years-later.html" target="_blank">What Graduation Means 4 Years Later</a><i> </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/10/deep-questions-simple-answers.html" target="_blank">Deep Questions, Simple Answers</a> <br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-adult-threshold-age-25.html" target="_blank">The Adult Threshold: Age 25</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/04/you-know-youre-adult-when.html">You Know When You're an Adult When</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/02/who-i-was-in-high-school.html">Who I Was In High School</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/09/first-day-of-school.html">First Day of School</a> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-14439456934805905352015-01-10T15:49:00.002-08:002015-01-10T15:49:32.347-08:00Hello! I'm back! <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUYPBZJ_wf3BHSrO_FXIBhPaF2w8KTMNIU8D5nkUyScmQTQ0NcQNfDs5Et-2ob3ZMZ0RKvQ1401ndSf8E35W6HH1M74KUOSGqFHeLDMm7aG2-sEr7P48cX2uSPWgHiN-LPuR7g9FDklOQ/s1600/IMG_5538.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUYPBZJ_wf3BHSrO_FXIBhPaF2w8KTMNIU8D5nkUyScmQTQ0NcQNfDs5Et-2ob3ZMZ0RKvQ1401ndSf8E35W6HH1M74KUOSGqFHeLDMm7aG2-sEr7P48cX2uSPWgHiN-LPuR7g9FDklOQ/s1600/IMG_5538.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aboard the Disney Dream cruise!</td></tr>
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Greetings Internet friends!<br />
<br />
It's been <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/07/why-you-havent-heard-from-me-lately.html" target="_blank">over a year</a> since I've posted regularly on my blog, and while I do not intend to keep up with my regular weekly updates, I think its time to revive this thing.<br />
<br />
The past six or so months, I've struggled with my writing. <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/03/never-ever-ever-ever-enough-time.html" target="_blank">I am a very busy person</a>. For the most part, I enjoy staying busy, but I've been juggling tasks at my limit for quite some time now. I'm not sure what items I can drop; they are all very important to me. <br />
<br />
So, writing took its place on the back-burner of my schedule. I'm ashamed to say <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/04/is-it-wise-to-take-break-from-your-novel.html" target="_blank">I haven't really worked on fiction</a> in months either. People have asked me how my novel is going. I have to tell them that truthfully its going nowhere fast. I feel like wincing every time I have to say it.<br />
<br />
Maybe its the coming of the New Year, hearing everyone else talk about resolutions (<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/01/why-i-never-make-new-years-resolutions.html" target="_blank">even though I dislike resolutions personally</a>). Perhaps it is the rising out of the ashes of the holiday season, tired and lethargic. Or maybe, if I am brave enough to say it, from the dissatisfaction with the present comes a desire for change.<br />
<br />
So, I thank you for your patience and understanding. I'm going to need the encouragement to fight the uphill battle of self improvement. Thanks for the likes and the comments. Much appreciated. I look forward to the future. <br />
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<i>Soli Deo Gloria. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/writercherylchen" target="_blank">Like me on Facebook! </a><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-36638530465274537902014-07-18T17:20:00.000-07:002014-07-18T17:22:03.137-07:00Why You Haven't Heard from Me Lately<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGnkeSVfPJlNuuaPMrHLQ3FP-UUB54Y6c07H1vm1zFCQOeXrjn2-ZeBUdO7zgIGJ6wweBj_Nm59z4SRongpI6UTFrM_sCDXeytRbBf_n9z6fDNqvYdHKFylbrMZUDprK6gBqXTbzjzcuM/s1600/1929765_559604066861_8042_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGnkeSVfPJlNuuaPMrHLQ3FP-UUB54Y6c07H1vm1zFCQOeXrjn2-ZeBUdO7zgIGJ6wweBj_Nm59z4SRongpI6UTFrM_sCDXeytRbBf_n9z6fDNqvYdHKFylbrMZUDprK6gBqXTbzjzcuM/s1600/1929765_559604066861_8042_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
As you can see, I've taken a hiatus from new blog posts recently. You might be wondering why. <br />
<br />
<div class="gmail_extra">
I'm feeling anxious lately. I want to write,
but every time I sit down and work on the book I've been tackling, I get
too jittery and get up. I can't sit still. I struggle to motivate
myself at work. I want something new, but I feel like its wiser to stay
the course and wait for the emotions to die down. Still, I'm not
ignoring them. Just keeping my eyes open to see if anything pops up.<br />
</div>
Alas...the bills need to be paid and responsibility needs to happen. That's what keeps me on the ground.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I have to admit I haven't written much during the time I wrote my weekly blog posts. I wrote some, but not a lot. Someone said the urgency was missing. But is writing sort of like a marriage? If you can't keep at it when it gets boring, you aren't really dedicated.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm at a stage where the motivation has drained away and I'm looking through the residue to see if there is anything of substance left. The cynical side of me says I don't have an audience, but in case I do, I thought I'd let you know.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUZ0LJaxaSVJjWOWMEIsa0PAECX2hYX3YV8rObS9O-rS21Mv76P7kr49DUtqHnmVic2EFl98m0wfKH6yWQHfGhp40QOEIGUAISYZTh8y6HmN5m53bGfmgNTfyvMsHbU8YpOjuM43Fzzk/s1600/IMG_3560.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihUZ0LJaxaSVJjWOWMEIsa0PAECX2hYX3YV8rObS9O-rS21Mv76P7kr49DUtqHnmVic2EFl98m0wfKH6yWQHfGhp40QOEIGUAISYZTh8y6HmN5m53bGfmgNTfyvMsHbU8YpOjuM43Fzzk/s1600/IMG_3560.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>PS - I sound super melodramatic now, but I'm not "emo", just tired.<br />
<br />
PPS - We got a puppy. Have you seen her on my <a href="http://instagram.com/cheryl__chen" target="_blank">Instagram</a>? :) If not, here you go! <br />
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<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
<br />
<i><i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/writercherylchen" target="_blank">Like me on Facebook!</a><br />
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Related Posts:<br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/04/is-it-wise-to-take-break-from-your-novel.html" target="_blank">Is it wise to take a break from your novel?</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/03/journey-of-writing.html" target="_blank">The Journey of Writing</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/09/youre-not-real-writer-until.html" target="_blank">The Test for Every Writer</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-want-to-be-courageous.html" target="_blank">I Want to Be Courageous</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/05/novel-update-day-1169.html" target="_blank">Novel Update: Day 1169</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-39714180338588128042014-05-14T10:57:00.002-07:002014-05-14T10:57:34.442-07:00What Graduation Means 4 Years Later<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSZxaS2-KrZuTz6e0a4U4rH4bOysN4q1KUU7ox9eZKOZ-4VMkN25TRQznBHtwmk90tmVV5lJEY-0A2V2MUNfv_qgYh2J0poIJ_hPjj8-KhJdMG2I-1QDwUQqtS2qi4EhFpYAekvWhaBFA/s1600/49.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSZxaS2-KrZuTz6e0a4U4rH4bOysN4q1KUU7ox9eZKOZ-4VMkN25TRQznBHtwmk90tmVV5lJEY-0A2V2MUNfv_qgYh2J0poIJ_hPjj8-KhJdMG2I-1QDwUQqtS2qi4EhFpYAekvWhaBFA/s1600/49.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
I graduated from the University of California, Irvine (zot zot) in 2010. Four years later, so much has happened since my graduation, I feel like it was a lifetime ago. Yet I can still remember it like yesterday.<br />
<br />
I remember the anxiety of taking my first steps into the real world of careers and 9-5 work schedules. I remember debating whether or not I had to go to grad school, whether or not that would affect my future. I recall considering getting a teaching credential and teaching high school English.<br />
<br />
Now, four years later, all my worries seem silly. I'm married, working, co-own a home. Things that seemed perpetually "down the road" at the time of graduation. I notice some of the graduates dwelling in anxiety. Part of me wants to tell them to not waste their time; the other part of me knows they need to learn a few things of experience like I did. A few things like: <br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><b>DON'T WASTE TIME ON THE WHAT-IF'S</b><br />
You could spend an eternity wondering "What if I did that?" Wait, let me rephrase that. You could <b>waste</b> an eternity wondering.<br />
<br />
I did not pursue a teaching career at all. Would I have been good at it? Probably. Would it have been fulfilling? Most likely. Would I have been better off? I don't know, but who cares?<br />
<br />
I chose UCI over UCLA. My life could be hugely different because I
chose that school over another. I could have different friends. I
might never have married my husband because we wouldn't have seen each
other as much. But in the end, can I really change the past anyway? What is the point of wasting energy thinking about it?<b><br /></b><br />
<br />
<b>YOU'RE NOT IN CONTROL</b><br />
We also give ourselves a little too much credit. We do make the decisions and those can alter our lives, but there is plenty that is out of our control. So do we throw caution out the window and just let life do what it will? No, planning and responsibility have their place. But we also need to learn to roll with the punches.<br />
<br />
Learn flexibility in the middle of your life plans. It isn't easy, but it's important for being able to cope with life's twists and turns. Learn with the smaller stuff, so when something big happens, you aren't a mess. <br />
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<b>CAREER ISN'T EVERYTHING</b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0RgRjXu6GV4C5Fc2HVK0JHIhrucvqeXFHL4zXdlVmS9DCqsm9RM2dAv0wljlIduR5YwxqcIf7uiQQTcyxgipxKfUri4WEE6HBnCC_mWiAOJanhluEHyrDzR_RaYpjUcjN0YsFOT_48Wc/s1600/29521_912914609701_320977_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0RgRjXu6GV4C5Fc2HVK0JHIhrucvqeXFHL4zXdlVmS9DCqsm9RM2dAv0wljlIduR5YwxqcIf7uiQQTcyxgipxKfUri4WEE6HBnCC_mWiAOJanhluEHyrDzR_RaYpjUcjN0YsFOT_48Wc/s1600/29521_912914609701_320977_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>At the time of high school graduation, what college you picked was the big thing. At the time of college graduating, what career you picked was the huge thing.<br />
<br />
<b> </b><br />
In reality, I've learned that its not that big of a deal after all.<br />
<br />
Not only am I working in an industry that has nothing to do with my major and was not at all what I had anticipated, I'm still using the skills I've garnered both in life and in college at my position. Is it what I've always dreamed? No, but life is bigger than just your job.<br />
<br />
And sometimes you have to do what you don't necessarily enjoy doing to pay bills. Fact of life.<br />
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<b>LISTEN</b><br />
<br />
Wisdom comes through experience, and as much as us young 'uns would like to argue otherwise, there are just some life lessons you can't learn any other way. I wish I could tell my younger self to spend more time listening to those who have experienced more.<br />
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And don't assume that you can figure everything out yourself. Oh wait, I need to tell my current self that.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
<br />
<i><br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/writercherylchen">Like me on Facebook!</a><br />
<br />
<br />
Related Posts:<br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/10/deep-questions-simple-answers.html" target="_blank">Deep Questions, Simple Answers</a> </i><br />
<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-adult-threshold-age-25.html" target="_blank">The Adult Threshold: Age 25</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/04/you-know-youre-adult-when.html">You Know When You're an Adult When</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/02/who-i-was-in-high-school.html">Who I Was In High School</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/09/first-day-of-school.html">First Day of School</a> </i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-77483843502921560792014-05-06T11:00:00.000-07:002014-05-06T11:56:59.772-07:00A Truly Scrumptious Imagination<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Raised on the 1990s, I spent hours in front of the television watching Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, Peter Pan, the King and I, and also the beloved but slightly less well-known classic, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062803/?ref_=nv_sr_1" target="_blank">Chitty Chitty Bang Bang</a>. <br />
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Thanks to Amazon Prime, I was able to watch it recently for the first time as an adult. I didn't remember any of the plot, but the songs were as familiar as an old friend. Somehow, you never seem to forget those tunes from your childhood. (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherman_Brothers" target="_blank">Sherman Brothers</a> magic.) <br />
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The film was released in 1968 and based off of a book by the same <a href="http://www.ianfleming.com/chitty-chitty-bang-bang-2/" target="_blank">author of James Bond</a>. He wrote it for his son. The movie's screenplay was co-written by <a href="http://roalddahl.com/" target="_blank">Roald Dahl.</a><br />
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These details stood out to me because, as I watched the movie, I didn't realize that 75% of the movie is spent watching events entirely imagined. <br />
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When I was little, I thought that Chitty actually did float and fly. I had thought the child-catcher and the toy maker and all of the adventures that Caractacus Potts and Truly Scrumptious and the kids were having were all <b>real</b>. I was surprised at the ending when the movie returns to the scene on the beach because I hadn't remembered that part. As a child I had never connected the pieces. <br />
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At first, it's a little disconcerting to have spent the last hour of your life watching the adventures of a spontaneous father's imagined story for his kids. It's sort of like ending a story with "It was all a dream." There is a little bit of a disappointment, sort of like you felt played.<br />
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But isn't that what we're doing anyway? Spending time in people's imaginations?<br />
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You might think I'm contradicting myself. <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/04/were-addicted-to-stories.html" target="_blank">I blogged recently about the addictive nature of stories</a>. I argued that while stories were fun and healthy to an extend, we needed to remember we live in reality. <br />
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I don't think I'm contradicting myself; rather, I'm developing that same argument. There is something to be said for the freedom of being able to go to faraway places while just sitting there. I miss the days of my youth when I could just imagine something and it would be true. "Let's pretend," I would always tell my sisters and playmates.<br />
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The ability to dream and imagine is essential to the growth of our society, but we have to remember that living in fantasy is dangerous. However, neglecting man's ability to dream can be just as dangerous.<br />
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Chitty Chitty Bang Bang explains it best. The movie ends with this monologue by Mr. Potts.<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
So dreams come true...But you have to be practical too. You have to face the facts. A man has to see things as they really are. A man with responsibilities can't have his head in the clouds all the time. A man should keep his feet on the solidly on the ground. Oh, a man should have his dreams, but he has to put them to some practical use, not just sit around and think about 'em all the time. <i>(Car soars off the road and into the air.)</i></blockquote>
The irony is clear in the movie. The emphasis on the imagination is clear and strong, and coming from a writer, being able to find a use for your dreams makes sense. It is as if Fleming is defending his profession.<br />
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I know that I sometimes forget the imagination of my youth too much when I'm writing. How much do I really believe in the stories I'm telling? And if I don't believe in it, how are others supposed to believe in it? Others, like the child version of myself, believing that every bit of the story Mr. Potts was telling was true. The adult-side of me needs to remember to believe like Peter Pan so I can remember how to fly. <br />
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<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
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<i><i><br /></i>
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I've decided to take a little hiatus from working on my YA novel, and I'm quite hesitant about doing so. <br />
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I'm at that point in my editing where I feel like my novel is horrid and so far from everything I want it to be that its not salvageable. Of course, no novel is beyond the point of saving. It just feels that way. (If you didn't get it, I'm at the "dark night of the soul" part.)<br />
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You can probably relate. You don't connect with your protagonist (or any of your characters, really). You wonder why you're writing the thing in the first place. You lack drive to see it through. <br />
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Over and over, we're taught that real writers finish drafts. They go through the editing process as many times as necessary until its right. One of my favorite novels went through 14 drafts before it even saw an agent's desk. We know that writing takes perseverance, and to be honest, I feel like a failure for wanting to just toss the whole thing aside and never look at it again.<br />
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Which is why I've decided to take a break. <br />
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(I should mention that I haven't worked on the draft for months anyway because I was moving. Now that I actually have, I'm deciding to take a break. But really, I've been taking a break all along. Which makes me feel even more like a failure.)<br />
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I'm second-guessing myself. Part of me says that time will do my novel good. If I spend some time here and there thinking about it, perhaps when I come back to it, I'll be able to look at it with fresh eyes and renewed energy. Another part of me says that I'm just giving myself an excuse for not pressing on and keeping my nose to the grindstone.<br />
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The thing that convinced me to take a break is that I have been trying to work on a few other stories (whether they be novels or just scenes, I don't know yet), but I've been putting those off because I feel like I'm cheating on my novel with another story. <br />
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So, we're taking a break right now, my novel and I. <br />
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I further supported my decision with the idea that multiple drafts don't need to be successive. <br />
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I still feel like I just let someone down, but hopefully I'll feel better later. <br />
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<b>What do you think? Have you guys taken a break and seen it to be a positive thing? Or has your experience been taking a break just means the final break-up in a passive aggressive form? </b><br />
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Trying to juggle life (marriage, family, friends, work, church responsibilities, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, etc.) makes it difficult to find time to write. And not just time, but energy as well. I know that writing comes second, yet I miss it. It's like an old friend that I haven't seen in awhile. <br />
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At this point in my life, I'm a very depressing example of a writer, if you can call me an example. Specimen would be a better word. I do not want to pretend that I've got it all together and that I'm living out "the dream". Because I've put aside "the dream" to pursue "my dream". I know that is the right thing to do; it's just sometimes I'm sad that I struggle to include writing into the blessed life that I'm living.<br />
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<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
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<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/03/journey-of-writing.html" target="_blank">The Journey of Writing</a><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-50111106191401115112014-04-22T10:21:00.001-07:002014-04-22T10:21:54.268-07:00The Necessary Evil of Small Talk<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/hair_salon_image.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/hair_salon_image.gif" height="269" width="320" /></a></div>
Sometimes I dread going to the salon to get my haircut. You're in there for a good hour and a half, and its understood by all parties involved that you will make the necessary small talk the entire time as to eliminate any awkward silences. <br />
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So, I prep myself ahead of time. I think of things to talk about with the lady who washes my hair. The weather, my new house, and oh, how is her boyfriend doing? My hair stylist, luckily, cuts the hair of a dozen people in my family, so family news updates are encouraged. I can talk about my grandma and my sisters and my mom, and she'll be in the "know" already. <br />
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Still, there are times I run out of things to say, and I'll sit there awkwardly as the music is pumping and the scissors snip to the beat. Then, my stylists will say, "So, how's work?"<br />
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I'm really bad at small talk. Like most females, we often find ourselves in situations which require us to talk about random "safe" things. Skip politics, religion, or friend drama. Just friendly, surface-level discussions that have just enough drama and laughter to keep things interested. Some people are really good at it, and others, like myself, struggle through it.<br />
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If I had my way, I would just skip the small talk. Get straight to the nitty gritty. Tell me what you're arguing about with your boyfriend. Or let me tell you how my husband and I are learning about love languages. Or can I vent about this one person for a minute? I would much rather talk about what's emotionally and internally draining me or uplifting me at the moment rather than stuff that feels plastic-y on my tongue. <br />
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I hate being superficial with strangers, even though we know nothing about each other. Yet, even I would feel uncomfortable walking up to someone I just met at a party and spilling the beans on the latest fight I had with my husband. You just don't do that.<br />
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I have become to appreciate the necessity of small talk. It's the ice breaker that builds the bonds of trust to allow for deeper, more intimate conversation. I just hate wading through those mucky waters until I can get to solid ground, and sometimes I may hurry the process along more quickly than other people would like. <br />
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So, how do we make small talk more authentic? How do we make it less awkward and more purposeful?<br />
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Or am I forcing the issue by just asking those questions?<br />
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<a href="http://mendirattaprashant.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/small-talk.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://mendirattaprashant.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/small-talk.jpeg" /></a></div>
There are definitely places where small talk is necessary: the work place, the salon, the lobby, the cash register. You don't need to establish a meaning relationship with the cashier, but some idle chit chat makes waiting for them to finish ringing up your things a little less awkward and a little more personal. <br />
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But still, could we stand to be a little more personal?<br />
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I understand the necessity of small talk in our society; it's just that sometimes I wonder if it is as necessary as we think. There seems to be some places where you aren't socially allowed to graduate from small talk, and you just end up talking about nonsense the entire time. Perhaps its just the introvert in me. <br />
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I don't really have any answers to the questions that I've posed. I guess I just want to ask, "How far do we dare go in our everyday conversations?"<br />
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<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.790000915527344px;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/03/its-time-to-burn-those-self-esteem-posts.html" style="color: #771100; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">It's Time to Burn Those Self-Esteem Posts</a><br /><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/12/5-tips-for-happier-life.html" style="color: #771100; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">5 Tips for a Happier Life</a><br /><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-gift-of-giving.html" style="color: #771100; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The Gift of Giving</a></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-8736671030874334552014-04-15T10:00:00.000-07:002014-04-15T10:00:00.036-07:00We're Addicted to Stories<a href="http://hellogiggles.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/15/change-your-words-change-your-world.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://hellogiggles.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/15/change-your-words-change-your-world.jpg" height="400" width="309" /></a>As readers, we've all been there. We're reading this amazing book and we are drowning in it. You just can't put that stack of paper down.<br />
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After you finish, there is a bittersweet moment. The ending was so good, but its over! Why does it have to be over?<br />
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So, you go off in search of another book just as fabulous. You either search the shelves, read reviews on Amazon, or type frantically, just waiting to get that "high" again.<br />
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But it doesn't come. <br />
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So you spend hours upon hours looking for something else that will give you that same high.<br />
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Okay, you're starting to see my analogy. No, books are not as dangerous as drugs, but I think something needs to be said about <b>story addiction</b>. <br />
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I have been in that same boat. I read those fabulous, sigh-inducing, heart-pounding stories and want nothing else but to jump back into the world and escape the one I'm in. And as a writer, I also have the ability to explore worlds I create with my own imagination. <br />
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I have felt the pull to write all the time, to really dedicate my life to the creation of a story that will make your chest tighten with anticipation and your heart sigh for the characters. <br />
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I've mentioned more than once my personal mantra when it comes to writing: <b>don't let writing take over your life. </b>Maybe I'm taking that too seriously? Am I also going too far when I say that we <b>can't let stories rule our lives. </b><br />
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Many would be aghast, wondering what sort of writer I am to <i>discourage</i> stories. <br />
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Reading and writing and even movies, stories really, can be very dangerous. I've seen many lose themselves to the pursuit of publication or get sucked in to books. They sit in the middle of a party reading (you know who you are). Taken too far and stories can be destructive to our lives.<br />
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But writing also frees us from the confines of reality and allows us to pursue learning in a way that is not easily replicated in other ways.<br />
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So, at what point does the pursuit of a good story become harmful?<br />
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When you start depending on the fictional world to face reality, there is a problem.<br />
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I love stories. I will stand up for stories in almost every situation, except this one. Stories help us understand reality, but we cannot use them as an escape from it. Stories should supplement, enhance, develop, deepen, and beautify life, but you should be able to take them away and still be able to function. Because when it comes down to it, <b>the place where we leave a lasting impression is in the here and now</b>. <br />
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Our culture knows that stories can be addictive. Nothing else sucks us in with as much power. Video games, movies, books, news articles, commercials. Marketing directors everywhere know that people are drawn to something with a narrative. Just take a look at our Super Bowl Commercials! <br />
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I think its a coping mechanism; we have a difficult time dealing with the ugly reality life sometimes puts before us. So, we go to alternate realities in which we can find people to sympathize with, explore what we wish we could have, or just escape the daily grind. <br />
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As someone who has dedicated a significant portion of my life to understanding and appreciating story, I have more first-hand experience dealing with the addictive nature of stories. I get it. I have fallen prey to its enticing clutches myself.<br />
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I've also seen too many people live their lives sold out for stories. That's all that consumes their life. Real life relationships become secondary. And I find it just sad. Life is too beautiful to be lived within in the limited...yes, limited...world of your imagination. <br />
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<i>Soli Deo Gloria. </i><br />
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<i><br /></i>
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The key to solid characters is understanding what makes your characters tick, knowing their priorities and what drives them.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjwi5pJahqrVhK3qRno43eEno3CYcgOqqtcQ4DuYEFF3SSKy5ZnoF4plkZd-qudLzwVXfjo3ECkbq0uZsNvmstLNT_65w3rKp860TaKBrmhiVOGQ-QBi61X7A9lAV9Dm7iTMdzdjv-/s1600/5love.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjwi5pJahqrVhK3qRno43eEno3CYcgOqqtcQ4DuYEFF3SSKy5ZnoF4plkZd-qudLzwVXfjo3ECkbq0uZsNvmstLNT_65w3rKp860TaKBrmhiVOGQ-QBi61X7A9lAV9Dm7iTMdzdjv-/s1600/5love.png" height="170" width="320" /></a>The key to gaining that sort of intimate understanding of these fictional people you've created in your brain is to study the real people and the relationships around you.<br />
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The best real person to start with is yourself.<br />
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So, let's start asking a few questions about your characters.<br />
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<b>WHAT'S YOUR CHARACTER'S LOVE LANGUAGE?</b><br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
Love language? What's love language?<br />
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The idea of someone's love language arose from Gary Chapman's book, <u><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156" target="_blank">The Five Love Languages</a></u>, in which he outlines the five ways that people give and receive love.<b> </b> Those five languages are:<br />
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<ul><a href="http://plainadventure.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/fll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://plainadventure.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/fll.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a>
<li>Acts of Service </li>
<li>Gifts </li>
<li>Physical Touch</li>
<li>Quality Time</li>
<li>Words of Affirmation</li>
</ul>
Next question: what's <b>your </b>love language? <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/" target="_blank">Take the quiz here!</a> <br />
<br />
<b>THE INDIVIDUAL </b><br />
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Here are my results (high of 12): <br />
<br />
Acts of Service - 11<br />
Receiving Gifts - 7<br />
Physical Touch - 5<br />
Quality Time - 5<br />
Words of Affirmation - 2<br />
<br />
<br />
I react positively to someone helping me out (like doing dishes for me) or giving me a gift (flowers are always good). Also, I tend to show love that way. If I want to show someone I love them, I'll pick up boxes for them or buy them a spontaneous gift. <br />
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Does your results make sense? Self-reflection on this can be very positive. <br />
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Now, try taking the quiz for your character. Obviously, you won't know all the answers, but just take a guess and see what results it comes up with. How did that go? Did it help you understand them better? At the very least, it should show how the tend to communicate affection.<br />
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<b>RELATIONSHIPS </b><br />
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Now, let's make it a little more interesting. Here is a table comparing my love language results with my husband's love language results:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzifFG1dUryGygcwZSMCUsNL0sfN1z184VP0W5xaN7vSnDrm9h009A-7PAj4p0euNgOZBBTCcH5hyphenhyphenGkb67em7E-qNaa9oXQ1HDu3mKlR1ulrpXBsyMp1Nr9dYkHyDAGerl-QfmAF7rJIQ/s1600/Untitled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzifFG1dUryGygcwZSMCUsNL0sfN1z184VP0W5xaN7vSnDrm9h009A-7PAj4p0euNgOZBBTCcH5hyphenhyphenGkb67em7E-qNaa9oXQ1HDu3mKlR1ulrpXBsyMp1Nr9dYkHyDAGerl-QfmAF7rJIQ/s1600/Untitled.jpg" /></a></div>
Allow me to point out to you how our results are almost complete opposites (with the exception of Acts of Service). So what does this mean? It means when my husband says, "Good job," I could pretty much care less. It also means that when I go out of my way to help my husband with something, he's not really impacted.<br />
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I'm not saying that we would dislike a "good job" or a helping hand; rather, we don't take much notice. What my natural tendency is to demonstrate love doesn't make my husband feel super loved and vice versa. <br />
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Now, think of someone in your character's life. A sister, a mother, a spouse, etc. Someone they have conflict with would be good. Now try to take the test for that character. Put their results side by side. <b>Are your characters' conflict arising out of the fact that they speak different love languages?</b><br />
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If they have similar results, that's fine. That means their conflict must be arising from something else.<br />
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The key here is to notice how people communicate love and what they seek from their relationships. The language we speak doesn't only affect how we communicate to someone we're romantic with; it dictates how we communicate with anyone we love and/or desire love from.<br />
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It also affects our <b>expectations</b>. <br />
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What we (or our characters) expect from other people is a big point for potential drama, conflict, and resolution. <br />
<br />
On a side note, my husband and I have been practicing speaking each other's love languages. I'll try to mentally make a note to tell him how pleased I am with how he cleaned the kitchen. And he will try to make a mental note to clean the kitchen. The result is definitely a good one. Love would be easy if everyone spoke the same language; love is <b>strong </b>because we don't.<br />
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<br />
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<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
<br />
<i><br />
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Related Posts:</i><br />
<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/02/valentines-day-vs-sad.html" target="_blank">Valentine's Day vs. SAD</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/01/how-to-save-mr-banks.html" target="_blank">How to Save Mr. Banks</a> <br /><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-bad-books-have-that-good-books-dont.html" target="_blank">What Bad Books Have that Good Books Don't</a> </i><br />
<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/11/so-this-is-love.html" target="_blank">So This is Love...</a></i><br />
<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/misconceptions-of-marriage.html">Misconceptions of Marriage</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-transition-from-my-to-our.html">The Transition from My to Our</a></i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-46615404622728267892014-04-01T10:23:00.000-07:002014-04-01T10:23:58.154-07:00Strength in Words<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.imortuary.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/iStock_000013100216XSmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.imortuary.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/iStock_000013100216XSmall.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
My eyes were red and swollen from crying. I hadn't sobbed during the funeral service; I had only released a steady stream of compassionate tears. Uncle Bill had lived a good life, a long one. He had left behind a legacy of children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters. He had escaped a future of battling brain cancer. Death is not often a good thing, but in this case, there was not much to darken the shadow.<br />
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Still, he was gone, and he left behind a hole. I cried silently for that hole.<br />
<br />
Now at the interment, we stood in a long line, waiting to pay our respects to the family with a red rose in our hand for the casket. The family assembled in a row, all of them people whom I knew by name and had spent time with. I squinted in the sun to hide the redness in my eyes.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
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People chatted happily but hushed, still respecting the reverence of the moment but embracing in the joy of Bill's entrance into heaven.<br />
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I reached the front of the line and gave his widow a polite hug.<br />
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Then she looked into my eyes. I had thought the redness was gone by now, but it must've been visible because she leaned toward me and said so steadily, "It'll be okay. Everything will be alright."<br />
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She released me and smiled, knowingly. The strength in her words is something I will never forget.<br />
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It is in these small moments in which we see the tenacity of the human will and the loving peace of God our Father.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<i>Soli Deo Gloria.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
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<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/01/how-to-save-mr-banks.html" target="_blank">How to Save Mr. Banks</a> </i><br />
<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/10/deep-questions-simple-answers.html">Deep Questions, Simple Answers</a> </i><br />
<i><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2010/09/snippet.html" target="_blank">Snippet</a></i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-37997819125847825032014-03-25T11:31:00.000-07:002014-03-25T11:31:00.448-07:00My Right to Be Angry<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://incaseimgone.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/issuestissues-ch-6-emotional-baggage-claim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://incaseimgone.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/issuestissues-ch-6-emotional-baggage-claim.jpg" height="389" width="400" /></a></div>
You might be like me, and have a few people that you are continuously angry with. For me, they have done "legitimate" harm to me; they've hurt me. While I am not without fault, I was definitely wronged by most people's standards. <br />
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I'm so tired of carrying around the emotional weight, but I can't seem to let it go. How in the world am I supposed to forgive them? I wish it were just as easy as throwing something away or taking off a heavy jacket. <br />
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Did you know that the origin of the word "forgiveness" comes from the Old English <span class="foreign">forgiefan</span> "give, grant, allow; forgive," also "to give up" and "to give in marriage;" from <span class="foreign">for-</span> "completely" + <span class="foreign">giefan</span> "give"?
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The modern sense of "to give up desire or power to punish" is from use of the compound as a Germanic loan-translation of Latin <span class="foreign">'perdonare'. (Source: </span><a href="http://www.etymonline.com/index.php">Online Etymology</a>) <br />
<br />
In other words, <b>forgiveness means completely giving up of your right to be angry.</b><br />
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Well, sorta. It's not a bad thing to be angry. It's a bad thing when you carry around emotional baggage, grudges, or other pent up negative energy because someone has done something bad to you.<br />
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That's what I mean by your "right to be angry". Forgiveness means giving THAT up.<br />
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<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
It's a lot easier said than done, and you're probably even okay with the definition, but if I ask you to put that into practice, you will probably have a hard time.<br />
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"They cut me off first! Why should I let them back in?"<br />
<br />
"She flirted with my boyfriend. I don't see why I should have to talk to her like a real person."<br />
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Our culture teaches that if someone does something wrong to us, we have the <b>right</b> to treat them with equal animosity. If someone trips us, we have the right to trip him back. <br />
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Forgiveness turns all that on its head, <b>and we don't like it.</b><br />
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So, we harbor all of these burdens and grudges. We carry all of this emotional baggage around. Sometimes, we can't forgive ourselves and that leads to<b> </b>an endless journey of self-torture. But we can't let go of our anger. We have a right, a purpose, to be angry. <br />
<b></b>
<b></b>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is
stored than to anything on which it is poured.” - Mark Twain</i>
</blockquote>
<b>In the end, we're the ones that are hurting. </b>By refusing to forgive, we poison ourselves.<br />
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The ironic thing about the message of forgiveness is that it is almost more for you than it is for the one you are forgiving. Still, we have a hard time accepting it. We were wronged. We have the right to at least stay angry, right?<br />
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One caveat.<br />
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Jesus died for your sins and forgave you.<br />
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In the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+18:21-35" target="_blank">Parable of the Unmerciful Servant</a>, Jesus tells a story of a man who demanded repayment of a small debt when he had just been forgiven of an enormous debt.<br />
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That's how we are when we refuse to forgive others. Jesus has forgiven us of a debt we could never repay; yet, we still walk around demanding payment from people who owe us pennies.<br />
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It doesn't make sense in our society. That's part of the beauty of it. <br />
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Maybe that's the trick of it too: when we struggle to let something go, we must turn to counter-cultural methods. Maybe we need to turn to someone bigger than ourselves to help us through it. Maybe, just maybe...we can depend on Jesus to teach us how to forgive. I would imagine He's pretty good at it.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
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Related Posts:<br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/01/all-who-are-weary.html" target="_blank">All Who are Weary</a><br />
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<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-gift-of-giving.html" target="_blank">The Gift of Giving</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/07/reality-check.html">Reality Check </a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/09/loving-when-there-is-so-much-to-lose.html">Loving When There is So Much to Lose</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-46649554197392939732014-03-18T10:00:00.000-07:002014-03-18T10:00:03.238-07:00Why You Need to Pause Before Posting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.socialmediasmarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/social_media.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.socialmediasmarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/social_media.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
We live in a different age. Having been born on the tail end of the "Gen Y" group, just missing being stuck in "Gen Tech" by a few years, I was able to see the world before and after the invasion of the Internet.<br />
<br />
They define the Gen Tech generation as <b>those who do not remember life before Internet</b>. They may have been born before Internet was widely available in the common American home, but they weren't old enough to remember those times.<br />
<br />
Me? I remember playing in the <b>mud</b>, walking up to my neighbor's house and asking if Katie could come out and <b>play</b>, and <b>rollerblading </b>and <b>biking </b>until the sun went down.<br />
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I don't want to sound old and "bash" on technology. This digital age is both exciting and frightening, and while most youth toot how awesome all of these fast-paced technological advances are for mankind, I'd like to offer the alternate view.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />I don't want to be a wet blanket, but I raise this issue for the sake of safety. Our safety, and our sanity. <br />
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I read a blog post awhile back that presented <a href="http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/tech/5-questions-ask-posting-social-media">5 Questions to Ask before Posting to Social Media</a>. To summarize, the questions they suggested were:<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Am I seeking approval?</li>
<li>Am I boasting?</li>
<li>Am I discontent?</li>
<li>Is this a moment to protect?</li>
<li>Is it kind? </li>
</ol>
They are smart questions to ask before posting anything to social media. Facebook, Twitter, blogs...they are powerful tools. I love how they open up the world of marketing, self-expression, and communication across the world.<br />
<br />
However, the Internet has become just that: a mode of <b>self</b>-expression. Of all the social environments of the world, it is the easiest to be self-focused on the Internet. <br />
<br />
On Facebook, you post about what YOU think, about YOU, what YOU like, what is bothering YOU. <br />
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On your blog, you write about YOUR day, YOUR thoughts, YOUR views.<br />
<br />
It's not necessarily bad to do these thing in and of themselves, but it becomes so easy to get into this mode of ME ME ME ME. If we are not careful about what we post, social media can become an unhealthy source of attention or a place to brag without getting rebuked or weird stares.<br />
<br />
I'm sure someone is going to do a study one day on the societal and cultural impacts of social media on individuals. Why hasn't someone done a study on how getting likes on Facebook makes us feel better about ourselves? <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/files/wh6_uploads/images/couple-on-phones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/files/wh6_uploads/images/couple-on-phones.jpg" height="255" width="320" /></a>The Internet has had <a href="http://www.nbcnews.com/tech/internet/happy-birthday-world-wide-web-turn-25-n39571" target="_blank">25 years of impact </a>on our society, and the effects are showing already. We see a culture that is less patient and more likely to talk about themselves. A group of young people who are exposed so much earlier than before. A society of individuals more willing to talk through a screen than face to face. <br />
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The world of swirling fast communication allows us to connect with people from across the world in seconds, find information for endless amounts of topics, and carry the world around in our mobile devices in a way we've never been able to before. <br />
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But for all of the "pluses" of having the Internet in our lives, we need to take a hard long look at the "minuses" and make sure that this benefit doesn't leave behind unexpected injuries. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
<br />
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<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-problem-with-christians.html" target="_blank">My Problem with Christians</a> </i><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-86270654849851195992014-03-11T11:51:00.000-07:002014-03-11T11:51:00.148-07:00I'm Married and I Miss Being Single<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://scontent-a-lax.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/1003546_10101976802259281_69660267_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="423" src="https://scontent-a-lax.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/1003546_10101976802259281_69660267_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
I'm married, and I'm telling you guys...if you're single, <b>that's okay</b>. <br />
<br />
I actually miss being single in some ways. I miss the freedom, the flexibility and the independence. My calendar only had one set of appointments on it: mine. If something came up, I didn't have to ask someone if I could go out. I just did. My goals were mine, and I didn't have to run them by someone. If I had an idea, I could just go for it. Nothing held me back. I could focus on what I wanted to do. I could focus more on God (although I didn't always do that, to be honest).<br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong. I love marriage. I love being married to my high school sweetheart, sharing my life with someone. That does include asking permission and running ideas by my husband first, and that's a beautiful and wonderful thing. <br />
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But just because I love where I am now doesn't mean I can't miss what I used to have.<br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
I wrote earlier about <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/02/valentines-day-vs-sad.html">how our society is obsessed with relationships</a>. It's so true. We're taught from a young age (Disney movies, come on) that we're made for a relationship with one other person. We get caught up in the search for "the one" and start to dream about when our lives will be complete.<br />
<br />
But our lives can be complete when we're single too. <br />
<br />
Another blogger, <a href="http://www.matthewfranklinjones.com/2014/01/15/a-church-of-pure-imagination/">Matthew Jones</a>, wrote: <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"When churches neglect to preach and model the good of singleness and
celibacy, when they glut themselves on the opium of romance or oversell
marriage to the detriment of both married and single people, they aren’t
just straying from the truth of the Bible – they are corroding and
constricting the imaginations of those in the congregation."</i></blockquote>
I love how he suggests that the church oversells marriage. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that marriage is the ultimate goal. Marriage is not the pinnacle of our lives, nor is it the ultimate source of happiness. In fact, the more that we think that, the less likely our marriage will last. Insinuating that this relationship, even as holy and blessed it can be, is the pinnacle of happiness <b>cheats God</b> out of what He deserves.<br />
<br />
Singleness is a gift, one I know that I took for granted while I had it. <a href="http://thomasmarkzuniga.com/2012/07/in-his-hands-a-wandering-wednesday-by-cheryl-chen/" target="_blank">I spent so much of my time searching for a relationship</a> that I missed out of the freedom and unfettered energy that a single life had to offer. If I could go back, I wish I change that part of my outlook.<br />
<br />
So, if you're single right now, enjoy it. Live life. Seek out ways to minister to others. Love everyone (whether or not they could be a significant other someday) with abandon. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, your mind, and your soul. If you do get married someday, you won't regret it. <br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria. </i><br />
<br />
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Related posts:<br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/02/valentines-day-vs-sad.html">Valentine's Day vs. S.A.D.</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/08/how-kissing-dating-goodbye-affected-my.html">How Kissing Dating Goodbye Affected My Marriage</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/09/loving-when-there-is-so-much-to-lose.html">Loving When There is So Much to Lose</a> <br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/misconceptions-of-marriage.html">Misconceptions of Marriage</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/04/to-date-or-not-to-date.html">To Date or Not to Date</a><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-75821080963269588642014-03-04T11:46:00.000-08:002014-03-04T11:46:00.332-08:00It's Time to Burn Those Self-Esteem Posts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP0enkJwpZsXWKlHpV-kmuGBz2j3wHtp-UcOhlbwTWEtpZfI-J8-ugZ9zzTty3WoMR3m2CoMny0QZcb-W-a4ljqXNZ_Kp_lERn3Qt7hu31JB9JSGaVfc77UAUsPJ9yO9q3JPUCSLcELN0/s1600/72874_622842551133092_1758710297_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP0enkJwpZsXWKlHpV-kmuGBz2j3wHtp-UcOhlbwTWEtpZfI-J8-ugZ9zzTty3WoMR3m2CoMny0QZcb-W-a4ljqXNZ_Kp_lERn3Qt7hu31JB9JSGaVfc77UAUsPJ9yO9q3JPUCSLcELN0/s1600/72874_622842551133092_1758710297_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP0enkJwpZsXWKlHpV-kmuGBz2j3wHtp-UcOhlbwTWEtpZfI-J8-ugZ9zzTty3WoMR3m2CoMny0QZcb-W-a4ljqXNZ_Kp_lERn3Qt7hu31JB9JSGaVfc77UAUsPJ9yO9q3JPUCSLcELN0/s1600/72874_622842551133092_1758710297_n.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
I'm on Facebook, browsing through my Newsfeed, and then I get bombarded by all of these posts telling me one thing:<br />
<br />
<b>YOU. THINK ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE IMPORTANT. YOU'RE SPECIAL. YOU'RE LOVED. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF. </b><br />
<br />
There are plenty of people who struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence. And I'm sure that these people really find these types of posts encouraging.<br />
<br />
But I think some of them need to get burned.<br />
<br />
I use the word burned not to insinuate violence but to mean disappear without a trace. They need to leave and take their influence with them. I want them incinerated.<br />
<br />
I'm being overly opinionated, and I might not be right. I have to admit that I don't really know what it feels like to lack confidence in myself. In fact, I should probably distributing some of my confidence to other people; I have too much for just one person. <br />
<br />
BUT I still feel like I have a point here.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If I were going to encourage someone who has low self-esteem...<br />
<br />
I <b>wouldn't</b> tell her to find her happiness in herself.<br />
<br />
I <b>wouldn't</b> tell him to focus on what he wants.<br />
<br />
Why? I feel like those statements taken out of context and spoken generally to all these random people on the Internet are <b>dangerous.</b><br />
<br />
These statements need to be saved for specific situations and said in person to certain people. <b> </b><br />
<br />
If I were going to encourage someone with low self-esteem...<br />
<br />
I <b>would </b>tell her that the best way to find confidence in herself is to learn about who made her and how much He loves her.<br />
<br />
I <b>would</b> suggest that he give of himself because giving never fails to make you feel great.<br />
<br />
I <b>would</b> encourage her to stop focusing on herself. Sometimes when we spend so much time focusing on ourselves, we lose sight of what's important. It's easier to see how special we are when we aren't obsessing over it.<br />
<br />
Trying to encourage the esteem challenged with more "ME" is counterproductive. If we keep telling them to try harder by looking inward, we could easily lose them to the sea of self-importance, which will more often than not let us down.<br />
<br />
What will not let us down is living for others. Living for something bigger than ourselves. Living for ourselves hampers us; "me" is too small of a thing to live for. You run out of content before the end.<br />
<br />
"Them" is a much bigger thing to live for. There's infinite content in "others". <br />
<br />
<br />
<i style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.790000915527344px;">Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.790000915527344px;">Related posts:</span><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/12/5-tips-for-happier-life.html" target="_blank">5 Tips for a Happier Life</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-gift-of-giving.html" target="_blank">The Gift of Giving</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-problem-with-christians.html" target="_blank">My Problem with Christians</a>
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<a href="http://media.her.ie/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Downton-Abbey-Dinner11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media.her.ie/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Downton-Abbey-Dinner11.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
Season 4 just ended, and as always, I'm left in a dreamy state. There's something so attractive about <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1606375/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="_blank">Downton Abbey</a>. You can't help but wish to be a part of the British aristocracy and feel pity and admiration for the working class that run the estate. So appreciate PBS's attention to historical detail, capturing the drama that occurred as the world changed its course in the early 1900s. <br />
<br />
In Season 4, Episode 5, the Countess of Grantham says to her maid Baxter that she was attending a charity function. When asked what she would like to wear, the Countess said she does not want to make anyone feel bad.<br />
<br />
The scene, though minor, caught my attention. It shone light on what we knew but hadn't brought to the forefront of our minds: <b>Image is so important to the aristocracy.</b> What you wear, who you marry, how you talk, what words you say. The package that you present to the social public is important. You have the choice, even if you are of a higher status than the rest, to be thoughtful about what you wear. It was a business decision to make sure that you carry yourself a certain way. It was a way of life. <br />
<br />
<b>THE UPPER CLASS IN AMERICA</b><br />
<br />
This sounds shallow to us with a 21st Century American middle class mindset. We value freedom, individuality, being able to be who we want to be.<br />
<br />
But the reality is that mindset still exists with us today.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Who is aristocracy in America? Famous people. The wealthy. In America, our currency is fame and fortune. Think of how important image is to them. The upper class of America choose to either use a good image to their advantage (donating to charities, wearing tasteful clothing) or a bad image to gain popularity (need I say more than Miley Cyrus?). <br />
<br />
Having spent time as an assistant in the world of the wealthy upper class in California, I see evidence of the British aristocracy customs. Manners, traditions, customs. So much time and money are spent on the preservation and establishment of presentation and reputation.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>FOLLOW THE MONEY</b><br />
<br />
There are times when it drives me mad at all the little
things that are done. It feels like so much time and money and energy
is wasted on making sure things are just a certain way. They employ dozens of people to facilitate what seems like unimportant, pointless. Wouldn't it be better just to cancel the fundraiser and donate all that money straight to the charity?<br />
<br />
Writing from an American middle class situation, I have a hard time with this aspect of the lives of the aristocracy. Can they not put on their own necklace? The other part of me understands that if the aristocracy DID want to dress themselves, many of the characters would be out of a job. <br />
<br />
<b>OUR REACTION</b><br />
<br />
But in the end, when presented on screen, we can't help but swoon and dream. There is something appealing about being able to choose to spend your time that way.<br />
<br />
I appreciated in Season 4 that we saw a lot of the "work" Lady Mary and Lord Grantham put in to run their estate. While the servants continue to slave away (happily I will say)--their lives a stark contrast to those upstairs--the world continues to go on. And Mr. Carson approves. (What else do you need?) With the addition of the situation in Season 1 when Lord Grantham tells Matthew the important of understanding your role as an employer (much to the benefit of Mr. Molesley), my attitude toward the Crawley's (and the upper class in general) starts to warm. <br />
<br />
The upper class are often antagonized by those of a lower rank looking up. While I can say that I feel like both ends of the spectrum have their strengths and their weaknesses, the joy and gratitude with which the staff at Downton carry themselves has quite a bit to say about how we should look upon generous and fair employers, even if they do have more money than we do. Gobs of money doesn't make you a bad person.<br />
<br />
I think as hardworking Americans who struggle to attain "success", its easy to look poorly on those who had everything given to them. Or at least, that's how it appears. We like the rags to riches stories, but despise those born into wealth, although the end result is basically the same.<br />
<br />
Let's give the aristocracy of America a break. They are just like the rest of us, only born into a different life than we were given. That doesn't make anyone better than the other. Besides, why are working so hard to attain wealth anyway (that is another issue entirely). Simply, let us learn to look at everyone through the same lens of humanity.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria. </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/06/so-that-wassuspenseful.html">So that was...suspenseful</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-36517308381728326472014-02-18T10:45:00.001-08:002014-02-18T10:45:32.093-08:00Fading: Our Journey with Alzheimer's<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1/r270/935225_10101764103070161_963529607_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1/r270/935225_10101764103070161_963529607_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
I grew up thinking my grandparents would live forever. I have been privileged to know all four of them, seeing them on a regular basis. They look the same year-to-year, so it never seemed like they were aging as a child.<br />
<br />
Then my grandpa starting forgetting people's names.<br />
<br />
It's the story of <a href="http://www.webmd.com/alzheimers/default.htm?names-dropdown=AL" target="_blank">Alzheimer's</a> you usually hear. It was just different to experience it first hand.<br />
<br />
My grandpa has always been a very slow, deliberate person. He takes time to think before he talks, while his wife and kids zoom ahead in the conversation. So, at first, his memory loss was hard to detect because it fit in with his personality.<br />
<br />
As things progressed, it became more apparent when he couldn't remember his granddaughters' names or when he got frustrated when the day's schedule varied.<br />
<br />
Our family began to ask, <b>"What can we do to help?"</b><br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
When he fell and broke his hip, he was placed in an assisted care home for a few weeks. Because he was on pain meds and he couldn't feel anything, he didn't understand that his hip was broken. He kept wanting to get up and walk around. Also, it was hard to communicate with him. <br />
<br />
But when I walked into his hospital room, his face brightened and he smiled. He opened his arms and said, <b>"My friends are here!"</b> I leaned in to give him a hug, and he gave me a kiss on my cheek, his scruffy chin rubbing against my skin. Physical displays of affection are not common in my family; I cannot remember my grandpa <i>ever</i> giving me a kiss in my life. And here it was: the loving peck on the cheek that meant more to me than I realized at the moment.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-b-pao.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1474365_10102154954346071_563352403_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-b-pao.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1474365_10102154954346071_563352403_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Walking with the family at the <a href="http://www.alz.org/" target="_blank">Walk to End Alzheimer's</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Later, to keep him company and give my grandma some relief, we hung out with him at the care home. My mom pulled out a deck of cards and we played War together. Then, I played an Ace and Grandpa played a Jack. I started to take the pile.<br />
<br />
"Hey, I won," he objected.<br />
<br />
Then I realized that he thought the face card was worth more than the Ace because there was only one symbol on it. After that, aces were the lowest card in the deck. <br />
<br />
Later, we taught him how to play Tic-Tac-Toe on my iPhone. It was a little difficult to teach him the concept of a touch screen, but he got the hang of it. We would always let him win. He knew enough to block us but couldn't quite grasp the strategy to win. <br />
<br />
Now, Grandpa loves coming over to my new home with my grandmother and sweeping. He has become a neat freak and a little chatter box, which is a cute change. He talks to the dust on the ground as he sweeps. It is the cutest thing as he tries to urge the dust bunnies into a pile. "Come on. Keep going," he tells them.<br />
<br />
<b>You have to maintain a sense of humor through it all.</b> When my grandpa talked to the Santa statue at Christmas, you have to laugh and not focus on the disease. While it feels counter-intuitive to treat this grown man like a toddler, you start naturally transitioning to embrace the circle of life. Your tone of voice changes when you speak to him, pitching higher like you would to someone who is a child. <br />
<br />
In a way, he is a child. He has lived his life and is now returning from whence he came. He will eventually return to the arms of His Creator. The circle of life.<br />
<br />
I've learned through this process that joy is something you keep when times are good and bad. It's something that sticks around; it doesn't waver. It is hard to watch someone you love waste away. Yet through it all, we have found joy, and we cling to the hope of God's promises. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
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Related Posts:<br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/finding-security-tribute-to-fathers.html" target="_blank">Finding Security: A Tribute to Fathers</a><br />
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<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/10/when-family-is-more-than-blood.html">When Family Is More Than Blood</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-35715420478973335272014-02-11T10:58:00.000-08:002014-02-11T10:58:00.670-08:00Valentine's Day vs. S.A.D.<a href="http://cafefonte.com/wpsystem/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Valentines-day-valentines-day-22236757-2560-1600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://cafefonte.com/wpsystem/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Valentines-day-valentines-day-22236757-2560-1600.jpg" height="125" width="200" /></a>It's that time of year again. Be prepared for the onslaught of social media posts!<br />
<br />
One half of them would bat their eyelashes if they could, dripping with the sappy and overly intimate details of what couples did to celebrate the Day of Love. Complete with emoticon hearts and kisses.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://darcyhemingway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/screen-shot-2013-02-14-at-6-22-04-am.png%3fw=290&h=237&crop=1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://darcyhemingway.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/screen-shot-2013-02-14-at-6-22-04-am.png%3fw=290&h=237&crop=1" height="181" width="320" /></a></div>
The other half will be so chock full of cynicism and bitterness that you get choked by it when you innocently walk by. Then shove a murdered cupid in your face.<br />
<br />
Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit. But you get the picture.<br />
<br />
Let's just say there are many extreme emotions being expressed around this time of year!<br />
<br />
What's the deal?<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I have often wondered why people are so bitter toward the holiday. After all, the holiday originated in commemoration of a martyred saint, or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Valentine">so the tale goes</a>.<br />
<br />
But of course, that's not what we're celebrating on February 14th.<br />
<br />
But what are we <b>celebrating</b>?<br />
<br />
The fact that we aren't alone?<br />
<br />
The fact that we have someone to hug, to kiss, to take us out to dinner?<br />
<br />
And if we <b>aren't celebrating</b> Valentine's Day but instead are bitter about its very existence, why?<br />
<br />
Because we are alone? We feel lonely?<br />
<br />
Or because we don't have someone to kiss and take us out to dinner?<br />
<br />
Or is it because we're jealous?<br />
<br />
Do you know what<b> I find sad</b>?<br />
<br />
In America, Valentine's Day is all about couples.<br />
<br />
It's all about romantic love and whether or not you have it.<br />
<br />
Do you know what <b>I</b> <b>also find sad?</b><br />
<br />
That our desire for romantic love, companionship, etc. has allowed human relationships to become the source for our self-esteem and our identity.<br />
<br />
Companionship, marriage, relationships, love, smooches...they aren't wrong. But when they become all that we live for? Even as admirable and wonderful as marriage is, there is a lot more to life than finding a husband. <br />
<br />
People say <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/04/to-date-or-not-to-date.html">I don't know what it feels like to feel lonely</a>. I've always had a boyfriend. It's been a decade since I've spent a Valentine's Day alone. True.<br />
<br />
But as a wife, I have what they desire. I've got the great husband, the growing marriage, the smooches, the dinner dates. And you know what?<br />
<br />
It doesn't satisfy.<br />
<br />
Okay, I'm just going to say it. <b>Our society is obsessed with relationships.</b> And when I say obsessed, I mean that its unhealthy. Too much of a good thing, even companionship, is dangerous. Even in the church, you aren't considered a proper adult unless you're married and have kids. Our culture is screaming at us to find a mate and find one quick.<br />
<br />
Since when did it become person inadequate to be single?<br />
<br />
So in honor both Valentine's Day and Singles Awareness Day, I would like to make a suggestion.<br />
<br />
Let's just celebrate <b>love</b>.<br />
<br />
Love between siblings. Love between husband and wife. Love between parents and children. Love between friends. Love between enemies.<br />
<br />
Let's celebrate something that isn't going to segregate. Let's celebrate by being <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2013&">patient, kind, not boastful</a>. Let's not keep record of wrongs. Let's not <span class="text 1Cor-13-5" id="en-NIV-28671">dishonor others, not be self-seeking, not be easily angered. Let us </span><span class="text 1Cor-13-6" id="en-NIV-28672">rejoice with the truth.</span> Let's rejoice in all things and hope in all things. I think that's something worth celebrating.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria. </i> <br />
<br />
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Related Posts:<br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/04/to-date-or-not-to-date.html">To Date or Not To Date</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-better-one.html">When Two are Better Than One</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/08/how-kissing-dating-goodbye-affected-my.html">How Kissing Dating Goodbye Affected My Marriage</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/09/loving-when-there-is-so-much-to-lose.html">Loving When There is So Much to Lose</a> <br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/misconceptions-of-marriage.html">Misconceptions of Marriage</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-transition-from-my-to-our.html">The Transition from My to Our</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/12/til-death-do-us-part.html">'Til Death Do Us Part</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/08/525949-minutes-of-marriage.html">525,949 Minutes of Marriage</a> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-61902273226087241482014-02-04T11:00:00.000-08:002014-02-04T11:00:01.213-08:00Why I Hate Make Up<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCAF8AqicOJ_BFksza4_n6J1Ph1i_HXtcyg_djBY4ZC5YgShij9Iozqyl2d5UuZwGCqHBCy9Riqc-zySZLccEv-x1G4Oy0fFHQ8w9a8iZ-IU3FsjOuRx5i4yoDSGtZ5KezSwlpLgQwm00/s1600/1097388_10101948348026791_554152028_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCAF8AqicOJ_BFksza4_n6J1Ph1i_HXtcyg_djBY4ZC5YgShij9Iozqyl2d5UuZwGCqHBCy9Riqc-zySZLccEv-x1G4Oy0fFHQ8w9a8iZ-IU3FsjOuRx5i4yoDSGtZ5KezSwlpLgQwm00/s1600/1097388_10101948348026791_554152028_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a>I posted a photo of myself with make-up on and in the caption made the comment that I hated make-up.<br />
<br />
Quite a few girls commented.<br />
<br />
"Huh?" <br />
"What?"<br />
"But you look so good!"<br />
<br />
I tried to explain in a few words but couldn't quite get them to understand: <b>I have a love hate relationship with make-up.</b><br />
<br />
The reasons why I like it are pretty obvious; it makes you look good. Here is why I hate it: <br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<b>Make-up can become addictive.</b><br />
You know those girls who will not step outside of the house without a full face of make up? (Exceptions to this rule are those who have to wear make-up for work.) Yeah, they are addicted to make-up. They are a different person without it. Without make-up, they lack confidence. Sometimes I wonder if they will get married and have a hard time showing their husbands their bare faces. <br />
<br />
<b>I like sleep.</b><br />
I wake up with minimal amount of time to get ready. I shower, dress and brush, then I'm out the door. I would rather sleep then spend time in front of the mirror beautifying myself. Yup. Sleep > looks. Today and every day. <b><br /> </b><br />
<b>But it makes me look good and feel confident. </b><br />
Herein lies the problem. Make-up does a good job at making me feel beautiful, confident, sexy. I feel the draw to make myself up every day. Putting on eyeliner can make my eyes look ten times better in a matter of minutes. Putting on bronzer can make my face look thinner. <b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>Make-up has so much power over my face and over me. </b><br />
I don't like that. I don't like that I lack the self confidence in my own body that I am so drawn to the products. If I hadn't grown up under the leadership of a mother who didn't put on make-up herself on a daily basis, I would probably be sucked in for good.<br />
<br />
<b> </b><br />
I don't expect every woman to understand my problem. I think if you were taught from a young age that make-up was a normal part of a lady's life, then you have a harder time grasping my issue.<br />
<br />
But for those who do understand, stand firm. I know you don't feel as beautiful without make-up on, and if it didn't take you so darn long to put the stuff on, you would probably put it on every day. I'll be trying, along with you, to lessen make-up's power over my confidence. It all starts with me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
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<b>Related Posts:</b><i> </i><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2014/01/thanks-jennifer-lawrence-now-i-feel-fat.html">Thanks Jennifer Lawrence, Now I Feel Fat</a><br />
<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/02/who-i-was-in-high-school.html">Who I Was in High School</a></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-82603003313772278612014-01-28T11:00:00.000-08:002014-01-28T11:00:03.683-08:00All Who Are Weary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://alifetimeofwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/come-to-me-all-who-are-weary-and-i-will-give-you-rest-matthew-11-28.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="http://alifetimeofwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/come-to-me-all-who-are-weary-and-i-will-give-you-rest-matthew-11-28.jpg" height="309" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Dear friend,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It makes me sad to see you in pain, to see you stressed. I really don't want you to be so manipulated by the world around you. Sometimes I see what worries you, what really gets you down, and I wish I could just tell you, "This is so trivial. It's not worth worrying about." But that would be insensitive because obviously, its worth worrying about to you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">What I'm trying to say I wish for you something better. I don't pretend to know the secret to life or have it all together, because I don't, but what I <b>do</b> know is that God will give us rest.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">What I do know is that Jesus promises us this:</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text Matt-11-28" id="en-NIV-23488"><span class="woj">“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and <b>I will give you rest.</b></span></span> <span class="text Matt-11-29" id="en-NIV-23489"><span class="woj">Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gen<span style="font-size: small;">tle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"> <span class="text Matt-11-30" id="en-NIV-23490"><span class="woj">For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (NIV, Matthew 11:28-30)</span></span></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">You mention pain in your life, and I want to just tell you to let it go. Shed those burdens. Stop carrying that baggage around with you everywhere. It's not worth it. But I know its not that easy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">You will grow with time, I know. You are strong. I just pray you start to realize that your world doesn't need to revolve around <b>your problems</b>. It sounds harsh, but I say it with love. Trust my own experience. The sooner you live for something bigger than yourself, something other than your life, the better your life gets. Promise.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">I keep thinking of this song. May the lyrics bless you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">All who are weak, all who are weary</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">All who are tired, all who are thirsty</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">All who have failed, all who are broken</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Come to the rock, come to the fountain </span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I care about you! And so does Jesus. Lay your burdens at His feet and He will give you rest. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cheryl </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Soli Deo Gloria.</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Related Posts:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/08/why-i-go-to-movies.html">Why I Go to the Movies</a><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-gift-of-giving.html">The Gift of Giving</a><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/05/making-time-for-fun.html">Making Time for Fun</a><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">To Party or Not To Party (<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/01/to-party-or-not-to-party-part-1.html">Part 1</a> & <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/01/to-party-or-not-to-party-part-2.html">Part 2</a>) <b></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/05/ode-to-friendship.html">An Ode to Friendship</a><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></b><i> </i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-343478003200054872014-01-21T11:21:00.000-08:002014-01-21T11:21:00.180-08:00How to Save Mr. Banks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/banks3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/banks3.jpg" height="424" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<a href="http://static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130725173225/disney/images/0/0d/Saving_Mr._Banks_Theatrical_Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130725173225/disney/images/0/0d/Saving_Mr._Banks_Theatrical_Poster.jpg" height="400" width="268" /></a><br />
Over the holidays, I saw <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2140373/?ref_=ttqt_qt_tt">Saving Mr. Banks</a> in theaters and was reminded of the importance of back story. I personally very much enjoyed the movie primarily because of its stress on back story and the impact that had on the drama. <br />
<br />
The movie could have stood on its own with just a story of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._L._Travers">P.L. Travers</a> versus <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walt_disney">Walt Disney</a>. Easily. Had the movie makers decided to take it that direction, they certainly had enough material to work with. There is plenty of drama between the big movie god and penniless but overly emotional author. <br />
<br />
But the movie was so much richer because it wasn't about that at all.<br />
<br />
[SPOILER ALERT] <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000668/?ref_=nv_sr_1">Emma Thompson</a>'s character, author P.L. Travers, exclaims in the middle of the movie, "You think <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_poppins">Mary Poppins</a> is saving the children, Mr. Disney?"<br />
<br />
Angry and disgruntled, she walks off.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
<a href="http://cdn.screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/Saving-Mr-Banks-Still-Photo-Colin-Farrell-Daughter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://cdn.screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/Saving-Mr-Banks-Still-Photo-Colin-Farrell-Daughter.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a>Woven throughout the movie, these scenes of Travers' childhood become the foundation for the story.<br />
<br />
We begin to soften toward Travers. We start to understand why she cries. Why she is such a stickler when it comes to her books, why she has to have it just how she imagined it. <br />
<br />
And we learn how much of a risk it was to give up Mary Poppins to Walt Disney. <br />
<br />
In the movie, when Walt Disney learns that P.L. Travers is actually Helen Goff, when he learns her back story, he figures it out too.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"It's not the children [Mary Poppins] comes to save. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>It's their father. It's YOUR father, Travers Goff."</i></div>
<br />
<a href="http://wae.blogs.starnewsonline.com/files/2013/12/saving-mr-banks-emma-thompson-tom-hanks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://wae.blogs.starnewsonline.com/files/2013/12/saving-mr-banks-emma-thompson-tom-hanks.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a>It's no wonder it is Walt Disney sharing his own back story with her that convinces her to put her beloved Mary Poppins in his hands. <br />
<br />
As a writer, the movie reminds us of valuable advice: <b>know your character's back story. </b><br />
<br />
Doesn't mean you have to include it in your book. You don't have to stop everything to make sure we know sh loved blue when she was a child. Just know what it is. But you're probably going to end up sharing it. <br />
<br />
From
my limited experience, if you know their back stories, you're probably
going to end up putting it in, some way or another. A snippet here or
there, at least. Why?<br />
<br />
Because a character's back story tells the audience <b>where
he's come from</b> and how that <b>impacts where he's going</b>. It helps us understand the <b>worth </b>of the things in the present. It's the rudder to the ship, the wind in the sails.<br />
<br />
Based on the movie, the story of Mary Poppins becoming <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058331/?ref_=nv_sr_1">a Disney movie</a> becomes more than just a battle to get movie rights. It blossoms into a story of redemption, risk, and family. All because of back story. It becomes powerful because the focus is on saving Mr. Banks. That hits closer to home, means more than even our beloved Disney classic. <br />
<br />
How do you save Mr. Banks in your story? Make sure your readers know where your characters have come from and how that is affecting their actions in the present. <br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/11/you-dont-need-to-be-different-to-be.html">Different Doesn't Mean Success</a><br />
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<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-bad-books-have-that-good-books-dont.html">What Bad Books Have that Good Books Don't</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/06/so-that-wassuspenseful.html">So that was...suspenseful</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/04/beginnings.html">Beginnings</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-46649516146048919202014-01-14T10:00:00.000-08:002014-01-14T11:01:27.542-08:00Thanks Jennifer Lawrence, Now I Feel Fat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggTjZBV_Jhh2H-mFI-PpmLqD8McvNq5ltdvXFyXIoQAmy6_TE802WquP6lCbtgfr4ehWtF9LBvw0IX57OH3JQZYp1Bb_ln8NKQTWtn-7aEJOq7OtTPi4c4z9pemHbrjOiHvAaNDgO65ow/s1600/url.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggTjZBV_Jhh2H-mFI-PpmLqD8McvNq5ltdvXFyXIoQAmy6_TE802WquP6lCbtgfr4ehWtF9LBvw0IX57OH3JQZYp1Bb_ln8NKQTWtn-7aEJOq7OtTPi4c4z9pemHbrjOiHvAaNDgO65ow/s400/url.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jennifer Lawrence says that she's consider a fat actress.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="http://www.jenniferlawrencefans.co.uk/photos/jenniferlawrence/tumblr-mhdsacwjwg-qc-fwfo-body-856537597.jpg?rnd=1292326691" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><br />
In mid-December, the Internet buzzed with <a href="http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-jennifer-lawrence-fat-illegal-barbara-walters-most-fascinating-20131217,0,2283558.story#axzz2nmS4jPnX">Jennifer Lawrence's declaration</a> that "it should be illegal to call people fat on TV."<br />
<br />
She also said she's considered a "fat actress".<br />
<br />
Thanks, <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&ved=0CEwQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.imdb.com%2Fname%2Fnm2225369%2F&ei=4_CwUrrqNY67oQSE0IHwAw&usg=AFQjCNGFOyDXSoeJzbM9F5hjoTcp61dPvg&sig2=XfB3VDjlFCo9ZimokWUzqw&bvm=bv.58187178,d.cGU">Jennifer Lawrence</a>. Now I feel fat.<br />
<br />
I'm being a little harsh on the girl. I mean, I agree with her and appreciate her conviction to fight the "image battle" in the Hollywood scene. I also agree with her opinion to equate cigarettes, sex and cuss words with calling people fat. She said:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"I just think it should be illegal to call somebody fat on TV. I mean, if
we're regulating cigarettes and sex and cuss words because of the
effect it has on our younger generation, why aren't we regulating things
like calling people fat?"</i></blockquote>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
I think its wise to call out media's effect on the young people of this generation. If we're trying to censor certain things for their well-being, why not words and phrases that make them second guess their image and identity?</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
But I still feel fat. </div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
From someone who has struggled with self-image and <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/02/who-i-was-in-high-school.html">played around with anorexia</a>, its hard for me to feel beautiful when a slender, good looking actress says that she's considered fat.<br />
<br />
I look at her unedited pictures which are supposed to show her true body and still feel inferior. She has no bulge on her belly. She has no moles on her face. Her eyebrows aren't overgrown. </div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
I have to remind myself that most images of celebrities that we see are drastically altered. With the power of Photoshop, even "obese" actresses can look skinny in a matter of a few clicks. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://denisesalceda.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Jennifer-Lawrence-GQ-Magazine-Before-and-After-Photoshop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="403" src="http://denisesalceda.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Jennifer-Lawrence-GQ-Magazine-Before-and-After-Photoshop.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Original (left) ; Edited (right) - Overall face & body trimmed</td></tr>
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Model Denise Salceda shows in her <a href="http://denisesalceda.com/youre-not-perfect-and-thats-okay/">blog post</a> before and after photos of celebrities. The differences are subtle but staggering. She assures us that we need to realize that the images are "<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;">not always 100% the real deal. They
have been modified to create a <i>representation </i>of reality—a so called “idealized” version that realistically isn’t possible to achieve." </span></span></div><br />
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<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;">Still, does the media realize what that by putting out "ideal" photos (that aren't real at all), that they are in fact <b>altering our perception of what reality is?</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;">As most girls do, we compare. And we compare ourselves to the images on magazine covers and on the television screen. Then, we find ourselves falling short of not being able to attain unrealistic expectations. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;">Doesn't that seem just cruel to you?</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;">I am a fellow victim of media's attack on the female (and male) image. You can tell me all you want about beauty is on the inside and that your husband thinks you're beautiful. I know those things. I want to believe that I am beautiful (inside and out) truly and fully, but the media's efforts have taken their toll. I have a feeling this will be a battle I will constantly fight.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;"><i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;">Related Posts: </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-slippery-slope-of-tolerance.html">The Slippery Slope of Tolerance</a> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/07/a-call-for-christian-artists.html">A Call for Christian Artists!</a> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #575757;"><span style="color: black;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/05/my-name-is-not-amy-tan.html">My Name is Not Amy Tan</a> </span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-25233247010799539312014-01-07T11:00:00.000-08:002014-01-07T11:00:04.278-08:00Why I Never Make New Year's Resolutions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.industryleadersmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/New-Year-Resolutions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.industryleadersmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/New-Year-Resolutions.jpg" height="235" width="400" /></a></div>
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Any opportunity for self-improvement is a good. I'm all for trying to make ourselves better people, whether that be aimed our health, spirituality, or personality.<br />
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In <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/dandiamond/2013/01/01/just-8-of-people-achieve-their-new-years-resolutions-heres-how-they-did-it/">an article by Forbes Magazine</a>, they estimated about 40% of Americans make New Year's Resolutions.<br />
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They also estimated that only about <span style="font-size: large;"><b>8%</b></span> of Americans keep them.<br />
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So despite all of the zeal and determination our country has, somewhere along the line it just isn't enough. Perhaps we're setting our sights too high (who can really lose 30 pounds in 30 days?) or maybe it is that we're just not trying hard enough.<br />
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That is why I don't make New Year's Resolutions.<br />
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I'm with the rest of America. I don't keep my resolutions. And in the end they just make me depressed about how much I've fallen short. I get so focused on my failure to accomplish what I've set before me that I would probably gain the weight I tried so hard to lose. <br />
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Isn't that how it is with God's resolutions? He makes this list of standards, the 10 Commandments for example, and we get so caught up in trying to keep them that we forget the point of the rules in the first place. <br />
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I remember when I was in middle school, I made the decision I would lie less. I was a habitual white liar; I liked to be in the center of attention so I would tweak my stories just a little to make them more dramatic or more funny. Around the dinner table, I would spin my tales and anxiously await the delighted laughter from my family.<br />
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Somewhere along the way, I realized that was probably not a good thing. I never told anyone about my decision, but I tried to stop telling white lies.<br />
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I failed. A lot. <br />
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I got so frustrated that I kept messing up, I gave up altogether. I thought, "If I can't accomplish this little thing, what sort of person was I?" I felt like my determination along should be able to pull me through.<br />
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I wrote a <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/08/why-there-are-rules.html">blog post</a> awhile back about why we have rules. Us Christians get so obsessed with rules and regulations and the fact that we've failed. Rules make it easy for us to judge ourselves and judge others.<br />
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But if it was all about judgement, God would have never sent Jesus down. He would have never had grace with us.<br />
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When I've given up trying to improve myself by myself...when I've given up trying to depend on my own abilities...when I've realized that, yes, I am a flawed human being with a sinful nature...and said to God, "Can you please change me? <b>I can't do this on my own</b>," only then have I seen permanent change.<br />
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In America, we tend to make New Year's Resolutions and think that by our sheer will power, we can accomplish anything. Well, as talented and passionate and determined as us Americans are, we can't accomplish everything by ourselves. Some things are impossible on our own.<br />
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And as soon as we humble ourselves enough to realize that we can't be perfect beings on our own and that we need God's grace, the sooner we can start to see the changes that we've always needed.<br />
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<i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i><br />
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Related Posts:<b> </b><i> </i><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/08/why-there-are-rules.html">Why There Are Rules</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-problem-with-christians.html">My Problem with Christians</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/12/5-tips-for-happier-life.html">5 Tips for a Happier Life</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-gift-of-giving.html">The Gift of Giving</a> <br />
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By Brant Hansen: <a href="http://www.air1.com/blog/brant/post/2011/08/04/on-giving-up-a-response-to-a-16-year-old-girl.aspx">On Giving Up</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-15521830561003697702013-12-31T10:00:00.000-08:002013-12-31T12:33:38.202-08:00Top Posts of 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In my high school yearbook, someone wrote:<br />
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<b>"Life is like a roll of <span style="font-family: inherit;">toilet paper. <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes."</span></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">The metaphor is scarily accurate. Everyone tells you that the older you get, the faster time flies. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">And 2013 has flown by. Way. Too. Fast. </span></span><span style="line-height: 16px;"> </span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 16px;">I hope that doesn't mean I'm nearing the end of my roll. Haha. </span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 16px;">Thank you for taking the time to read some of my ramblings this past year. Having decided in 2012 to make a more concentrated effort toward my blog, I have spit out some things this year a number of people have read. Thank you for that. Its humbling to say the least that people are even taking the time to click on my links, much less read my stuff. </span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 16px;"><b>Top Blog Posts of 2013</b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 16px;">#1 - </span><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-husband-isnt-my-soul-mate-either.html" style="line-height: 16px;">My Husband Isn't My Soul Mate Either</a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 16px;">#2 - </span><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/08/how-kissing-dating-goodbye-affected-my.html" style="line-height: 16px;">How Kissing Dating Goodbye Affected My Marriage</a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 16px;">#3 - </span><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/07/my-problem-with-christians.html" style="line-height: 16px;">My Problem with Christians</a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 16px;">#4 - </span><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/02/things-i-learned-from-being-burglarized.html" style="line-height: 16px;">Things I Learned from being Burglarized</a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 16px;">#5 - <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/05/my-name-is-not-amy-tan.html">My Name is Not Amy Tan</a></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 16px;">Honorable Mention - <a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/09/loving-when-there-is-so-much-to-lose.html">Loving When There Is So Much to Lose</a></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 16px;">Thank you for following me. I'd love to continue our dialogue in 2014. Looking forward to it. </span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 16px;"><i>Soli Deo Gloria.</i></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 16px;"><b>Related Posts:</b></span><br />
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<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/03/never-ever-ever-ever-enough-time.html">Never Ever Ever Ever Ever Enough Time</a><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/05/making-time-for-fun.html#more">Making Time for Fun</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4937462427298542132.post-525587513305135922013-12-24T10:00:00.000-08:002013-12-24T10:00:04.741-08:00Blue Christmas<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.itakejoy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/lonely_christmas_by_fantasize_me_r93.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.itakejoy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/lonely_christmas_by_fantasize_me_r93.jpeg" width="229" /></a></div>
Normally, Christmas is a time of joy, celebration and fun for me. I get so excited about Christmas shopping that I start in July and finish by November. I love decorating, putting up lights and baking. <br />
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But this year, I have a heavier heart than normal.<br />
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Marla, a woman in my congregation who had been fighting cancer, passed away on Friday, December 13th. Her daughter is 16. It was her husband's birthday.<br />
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A close family friend, Bill, who was struggling with four brain tumors, had a massive stroke and died on Saturday, December 14th. He was a grandfather to two of my friends and a close friend of my grandmother. His death the day after Marla's hit hard.<br />
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Christmas is not a happy occasion for everyone. <br />
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Some people are missing loved ones during the holidays. Some are struggling with the fact that they can't give gifts to their kids. Others don't know if this will be their last holiday season.<br />
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The holidays are dark for many. <br />
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<b>How do you make it okay?</b><br />
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How do you help them to enjoy the season? <br />
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How do you help them see the little bits of joy and peace and love in the midst of the tragedy?<br />
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I don't know. <br />
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I can't imagine what missing a loved one feels like at the holidays. Everywhere are reminders of what they have lost. How do you make that pain go away?<br />
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I don't think we can. And I think if we're trying to make the pain go away, we're asking the wrong questions. We've missed the point.<br />
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Christmas isn't about the festivities, the laughter, the togetherness. Those are all great and wonderful pluses to the holiday. But in the end, Christmas is a birthday celebration for Jesus. And I don't think Jesus is asking us to ignore the party poopers or to show up to His celebration with huge fake smiles on our faces.<br />
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<b>Because even in the midst of pain, we can still celebrate Jesus. </b><br />
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In fact, when we're hurting, we might be able to celebrate Him even more.<br />
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So maybe we can take the pressure off of feeling happy during the holidays. Let it be a blue Christmas for some, for a lot of people. Because when there is darkness, Jesus is still the light of the world and that is a reason to celebrate. <br />
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Merry Christmas. Happy Birthday, Jesus. <br />
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<i>Soli Deo Gloria. </i><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;">Related Posts:</b><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2012/12/christmaswere-doing-it-all-wrong.html">Christmas! We're Doing It All Wrong!</a></span><br />
<a href="http://writercherylchen.blogspot.com/2013/10/deep-questions-simple-answers.html">Deep Questions, Simple Answers</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03201809399698465884noreply@blogger.com0