Monday, March 14, 2011

Experience Wins

This post may contain 50% rant, so please understand it in that context.

I am the youngest employee at my work.  Therefore, I lack a vital thing that everyone else has and I cannot attain.  Experience.   And even though I pride myself in having some brains to put two and two together, experience seems to trump everything.  Even if I think of something, someone else can say, "Well, I've done it before this way..." and my idea is no longer valid because someone else's past experience consistently yields better results than under-developed ideas.

I've never planned a wedding before.  Therefore, I lack the vital thing that everyone else has and I cannot attain. Experience.  And even though I pride myself in having organizational skills, experience seems to trump everything.  Even if I think of something, another woman can say, "Well, it's always done this way..." and my idea is no longer valid because someone else's past experiences yield more traditional results than my under-developed ideas.

Okay, the tone may be a bit much, but I guess I'm a little discouraged.  What is the point of going to school if experience is really the only thing that makes or breaks it?  It seems like my schooling only gave me tools to seem like I have something to offer to the company, when really companies want people who are experienced.  My knowledge only makes me an efficient gopher.

On the other hand, my wedding is slightly different.  While I have very much relied on the past experiences of others and others' recommendations, there are some things I just feel like I don't want to do.  But others are telling me that that is not how it is done.  Do I defer to their ideas because they know and how can I know?  I haven't done this before.

I am a very stubborn person.  Even now, I put on my little kid pouty face when someone tries to do something for me that I know I can do myself and say, "No. I do!"  Yes, childish, but I think that if I think I can do it, let me try until I know I can't.  I don't like to read directions.  I fumble around first so I can figure it out.  This often leads to mistakes and picking up after the mistakes but ultimately understanding.  Companies don't like that.  Weddings don't like that.  There is no room for trial and error.

I'm also a little frustrated because why I understand the value of experience, there is no way for me to get it without waiting.  And I hate waiting.  (Sorry, more childlike impatience going on.)  I have to sit and wait in my gopher hole before I can watch enough people exhibit the wealth of their knowledge and experience for me to have experienced enough to step into the light.  Is that how it works?

At this point in my life, being the "youth" that I am, I am at the start of my adult life and wondering where the adult part kicks in.  As far as I'm concerned, there should be a phase for "young adult" when you are an adult but not quite.  I guess years take the fun away from everything anyway, so its a trade off.  Fun or experience?

Okay, never mind.  I take the whole thing back.  I want the fun.  ;)