Tuesday, April 23, 2013

When Two Are Better Than One

Awhile ago, I tackled the question "To Date or Not To Date" in a past blog post.  My answer: "Are you better together than you are individually?"

I believe you should only continue to date someone if you are better as a team, function better as a unit, than you do as individuals.

However, it remains to be said: relationships are tough and you must fight for them.

The fact of the matter is that when we meet someone new, we are on Cloud 9.  We are euphoric.  Life is good.  Then, the rose-colored glasses come off and the feelings fade away.  It is then that we're faced with the decision: Do we stick it out?

No one will tell you that relationships are easy.  They are tough.  And no one is perfect.  We all do mean things and make mistakes.  We butt heads, ignore, annoy, hurt, tease, and betray.

But there is a distinct difference between (1) someone who selflessly loves you but makes mistakes and (2) someone who doesn't love you but shows you affection occasionally. 

It's sometimes difficult to see which situation you fall under.  Determining which is dependent on a few things:

1) Make sure the rose-colored classes are off. 
You can't see clearly unless you know that emotions aren't making all the judgement calls.

2) Consider your actions first. 
Before we judge others, we should look at ourselves first.  Are we selflessly loving or selfishly taking?

3) Figure out your needs.
What do you need from a relationship?  What does your boyfriend/girlfriend need?  Can you meet his needs and can he meet yours?  Consider logically.

If you've done those things and others to determine the value of your relationship, and you determine that at this time you should stay, then fight.  Think Meg Ryan's character in You've Got Mail when she's fighting for her shop.  Fight!  Fight to the death!  (Well, not really.  And for the record, its probably not good to point knives at people.)

When dating, these questions are difficult but important.  When married, these questions are nonexistent.  You fight, no matter what.  You committed, you made a vow.

And sometimes, the best way to love someone is give them the chance to meet someone better for them than yourself.  Sometimes, it is to become that person for them.

Soli Deo Gloria.