I've been asked the question by more than one person: "Cheryl, what do you do for fun?"
I have to pause and think about it.
They are asking the question seriously, and I guess its a serious problem that they have to ask that. Most people have a hobby. And I do have hobbies, things I enjoy doing. It just seems like there is always something more important that my hobbies.
I found a box of my old report cards from elementary school awhile back. There was a little box where my teachers could write comments on me as a student. I started to read what some of my old teachers said, from first grade until sixth, and I found a common theme.
"Cheryl manages time well."
"Great time management."
"Uses time very efficiently."
So, apparently my amazing time management skills aren't an adult thing. However, as an adult, I've filled my daily schedules with tasks, check lists, and to-do's.
Sometimes, doing something "fun" just doesn't seem an efficient use of time.
I write. I hang out with friends. (We do fun things together.) I wrap presents. All of those things I value and have fun doing. However, I find other benefits to doing those things.
When is the last time I've simply done something for the sole reason of having fun?
It feels selfish to do something just for me. When I waste time on me, I feel guilty.
So I justify everything I do. Everything needs to have a reason. And sometimes...that can make life seem very tedious.
Which takes us back to the original question, "What do you do for fun?"
My answer: Not that much.
But is it wrong to constantly double dipping fun and relationships? Or finding fun in productivity?
I've struggled with my answers to this question, contemplating the idea of rest (are rest and fun equivalent?) and the importance of it in my life. I even wrote a blog post about it. And even at the end of this post, I'm not quite sure if I've arrived any conclusions.
At the end of the day, I know I've spent some time doing little things for me: playing games on my phone, staring at Facebook, sleeping. I guess I just feel a little alone in my feelings (which I've learned is really stupid in this world).
So, I guess, here's to finding fun in more than just "me time" but in "you time" and "us time" and "their time" as well.
Soli Deo Gloria.