The Journey of Writing

I had the rare occasion today to sit and read a physical book for hours while waiting for my car to be serviced. I didn't really like the book that much, but reading always makes me want to write.  Either to produce something better than what I read or to explore characters in the same way I get to explore them as I read.

So, I returned home and sat in front of my laptop to write.  I started on a story that I had been contemplating for some time, and I was immediately disappointed.  In no way was this writing process as enjoyable and easy as reading.  Where was the effortless explosion of character?  Why did I not have a firm grasp on this person's character?  I wanted so badly to enjoy that writer climax in which my fingers are flying across the keys because I know exactly what to write and because I feel so close and intimate with this person I created, like they are my new best friend.

But writing is much like life in this way.  A writer does not normally achieve that sort of euphoric state without effort.  In fact, the effort is what creates the joy.  We find joy because we put in effort.  The relationships with our characters are just like the relationships with those around us: the intimacy must be earned by spending time with them, listening, and putting their needs before your own.  Only then are you truly able to partake in that breathtaking climatic moment of intimacy.

So, even though I feel like giving up on this story because I'm not "feeling it" right away, I'm going to keep on.  Perseverance will yield much in the end.

Reading and Writing

As a writer, reading is paramount in importance.  Reading is as essential to the writing process as food is to eating.  At first, I resisted this notion because I didn't have a lot of time to read.  I thought, "I can still write and not read!" True, you can. 

 
However, I realized the writing is very much a collaboration.  Often, in the midst of competition and pride, this sense gets lost and discarded for the sake of maintaining one's sense of writer dignity.  I am blessed to be a part of two workshops in which the attendees all understand that we can be brutally honest when we constructively critique each other's work.  We understand that their input is vital, and we respect each other.

So, reading is a collaboration.  But what about published books?

I honestly miss reading a book.  I don't have nearly enough time to read.  So, I spend my daily three-hour total commute to read in the car.  Audible has become my best friend.  I'm able to read a book about every two weeks listening to it in the car, and the audio makes the drives go by in a flash.

Some people argue that listening to a book isn't as "legit" as reading it.  I think both have their pluses and minuses.  (That could be a whole blog post by itself.  We'll save it for another time.)  Nevertheless, audio books, though they will never replace the tangible book, have given me an opportunity to get consistent reading in.

The results?  I find that I'm more consistently enthusiastic to write.  Reading other people's stories gets me excited about mine.  And not even considering all of the rest of possible consequences, I'd say that's a pretty good deal.

At Noon

A Exploratory Profile 

In one of his five pinstripe business suits, Jacob ate his lunch in the car.  The windows were up, even though it was seventy-five degrees outside.  The stuffiness didn't bother him.  He just hoped no one could smell his lunch on him after he was done.  He didn't want anyone knowing that he ate alone every day.

Today, like every Wednesday, it was a $6 turkey deli sandwich on a rosemary bagel from Breugger's down the street from the office.  The peppered bacon here was his favorite.  And it was inexpensive.  Randy Simmons always went to lunch at the restaurant on the base floor of the office building.  A burger there was $15 plus tax and tip.

He tucked the napkin methodically into his collar above the knot of his tie and spread it out to protect the maximum surface area.  Last week, he had dropped a dab of mustard on his light gray tie.  It had cost a fortune at the dry cleaners to remove the oil stain.

When he was done, he wrapped his trash neatly into the napkin that protected his shirt, saved the extra napkins in his glove compartment for dinner, and returned to work.  His most flavorful lunch of the week was done for now.  Tomorrow was Thursday, and he was back to sack lunches in the corner of the break room until next Wednesday.

I Want to Be Courageous

I'm not a very brave person.  I'm not a risk-taker or even a spontaneous person.  I plan ahead, plan for hiccups, plan for worst case scenarios, plan for success.  I calculate and weigh the pros and cons so that when I go into uncharted territory, I have the best possible picture of what to expect.

That being said, I've made a "career decision" that leaves me feeling very vulnerable.  I'm second-guessing myself, wanting to be there for people that I care about but knowing that their decisions should not hold me back from putting God, my husband, and my ministry commitments first.  Still, you know how it goes, there are always questions that you cannot answer, the "what if's" that haunt you if you let them.  As the worry-wart type, I often do.  I feel more secure worrying, to be honest. 

Then this morning, I read the blog of my sister-in-law, Tiffany, who is currently in Africa on a missions trip.  (Check her blog out at http://tiffanychen.theworldrace.org) She signed up to go on an 11-month missions trip to 11 different countries around the world.  She left in September 2011.  Everything she's going through makes my problems seem so insignificant.  I wish I could say that I've cast out demons in the name of God and conquered the unknown in a foreign country for my Lord. 

How much better would the world be if all of us were as brave as we were when we wrote stories?  I am cut-throat when I write.  I hesitate (but not much) when I delete pages.  I send my characters into dark corners, thinking, "Let's see what happens," knowing that no time is wasted as long as I learn more about them.  Why can't we live life like that?  We so often are scared of the "what if's" that we are paralyzed by the question marks.  We write with reckless abandon, yet we live in holes.  We were made for so much more than this.

Christmas Letter

Dear Blog Readers,

Merry Christmas!  Here is part of my Christmas letter that I sent out to family and friends this season.  I couldn't leave you out!  Enjoy!  

As a recently married couple, my husband and I have been amazed at all of the things we’ve been learning about marriage and about each other.  We thought we’d share a few of them with all of you, either as a quick review or preparation for the future. 

Lesson #1: Work as a Team

The first team member’s duties are to cook a fabulous meal.  Experiment or try a new recipe.  Try utilizing some of the leftovers in your fridge.  The second team member’s job is to support the cook.  Stand by the annoyingly-nearby smoke detector and wave a newspaper in front of it to stop the alarm, which may go off at the rate of every twenty seconds.  Repeat as needed.  Remind the cook that the alarms have nothing to do with the quality of the food. 

Lesson #2: Celebrate Each Other’s Strengths

For example, you’re putting up the Christmas lights together for the first time.  Husbands are really good at cleaning the cob webs off of the eaves.  Wives are very good at pointing out if he missed one.  On the flip side, wives tend to be good at writing thank you notes.  Husbands are very good at signing them. 

Lesson #3: Be Understanding

When your wife buys six rolls of wrapping paper, be understanding. It is her first Christmas away from her family, and the wrapping paper makes her happy.  When she buys 20 gift bags, seven spoils of ribbon (what do you need ribbon for anyway?), three packets of tissue paper, and gift wrapping tape, be understanding.  Okay, she likes to decorate her presents.  When she buys a plastic container to hold the wrapping paper rolls, be understanding.  At least she’s putting things away.  When she buys a metal rack for all of that ribbon, be understanding.  And when she buys enough presents to use all six rolls of wrapping paper, be…well, just smile and say, “That’s great, honey.”

Lesson #4: Leave Little Notes for Each Other

It’s really sweet to come home to your favorite drink in the fridge with a little note that says, “I love you!” on the top.  It’s also really sweet to wake up to breakfast in bed with a handwritten note telling you how wonderful you are.  It’s also really sweet to come home to a sticky note on the front door that says, “Ha!  Beat you home!” (Racing is not endorsed.)

The Little Things

A few weeks ago, I was stressing out about how much cleaning I had to do.  Work was "putting my through the wringer", a phrase I had to use often to politely but accurately describe my mental and emotional state at my job, and I just felt overwhelmed.  Every room in the house needed attention: the bathroom, the kitchen, the office, the bedroom.  Spiders and ants were finding their ways inside, the toilet bubbled when I ran the washing machine, and I kept opening up my drawers and felt like I had nothing to wear (oh, first-world problems).  


I opened the fridge the other day to try and figure out what I could concoct for dinner that night and found a plastic cup full of wonderful sugary goodness with a post-it note declaring that I was special to someone.  The hubby had picked me up a caramel iced coffee.  I'm a weak-sauce coffee drinker, but I'm incredibly addicted to the dessert kind.  This was the perfect thing to sip on while cooking dinner. 


Another day, I had a business meeting to prepare for, which means waking up earlier in the morning (eww) to blow dry my hair and put on make-up, something I don't normally do.  It's just too much effort for me.  What do I wake up to?  The smell of eggs and bacon.  At my bedside.  

I opened my eyes to see a small ciabatta sandwich with egg and bacon and a pumpkin spice latte.  One of the first of the season.  I think the smile on my face stayed permanently with me all day.  The hubby had waken up early, driven to Starbucks, driven back, and artfully placed my sandwich one of our Food Network dishes (which, by the way, make every meal look professional just because the plate is SQUARE).  


Even though those two occurrences aren't "little" in any respect, I've begun to appreciate the little details that my husband takes notice of because of them.  The thoughtful decisions he makes, big or small, illuminate his thought processes and heart.


It's the start of the holiday season.  I'm an avid celebrator of all things Christmas.  But one of the more important aspects of this season is taking notice of the little things, both in your actions and others.  Not only is it inspiring in your writing and will help develop stronger characters, but understanding brings such a richness to one's life that cannot be attained any other way.  

Moving

Almost four-weeks into Marriage.  I'm loving it, but also moving out and learning to live with someone new brings about a lot of adjustment.  You are constantly shifting your weight as you attempt to balance on this new board which has different weights and sensitivities.  I'm having to learn to say, "ours" instead of "his" and "Mom & Dad" instead of "Mr. & Mrs."

The symbol of this change: boxes.  In these boxes is everything imaginable from childhood trinkets to adulthood necessities.  The "razor" for my Shaving Ken doll, really just a plastic stick with a foam pad on the end.  The child size T-shirt that says, "I'm in the middle."  An unopened curling iron because I can't take the one at my parent's home with me.  A purple wedding planning book with bent pages and a dented cover from being dropped on the ground from desk-level.

The boxes form an impenetrable wall before our sliding glass door, stacked three or four high, depending on their size.  They are labeled with department store logos, leftovers from wedding registry gifts.   They are haphazardly sealed with scant pieces of packing tape.  There are light cob webs growing between a few as they have not been touched in a few weeks.  Everything needed is already unpacked.

Sitting proudly on the bookshelf are dozens of photos of smiling sisters and proud parents.  Those were out of the boxes first.

Life Lessons

You guys are probably sick of reading about weddings.  I'm sick of thinking about weddings!  But alas, in this special and unique period of my life, I find myself without time to write and learning a gazillion life lessons.  As a result, I feel I must record some of these changes and transitions.  They are too valuable to not get down somewhere. 

So, here are some tidbits of what I've been learning recently, complete with writing prompts for fun (since life lessons = good stories).

#1 - It's your big day, AND it's not all about you.
If you notice, there is a comma before the conjunction in that sentence, meaning that the two statements are independent clauses.  That is true because I feel like these two ideas are the most popular wedding mentalities present in today's brides.

The fact of the matter is that they are both true.  The day IS your big day and you should plan it as it will make you happy.  If you just have to have that photobooth or you'll always wonder how fun it would've been, book it.  However, it is also not just about YOU getting married.  The purpose of a wedding is to give your guests (who are super excited for you) the opportunity to celebrate your marriage.  Believe it or not, they are there for you (at least most of them).  Honor them and respect them with a ceremony & a reception that demonstrates you appreciate their love, affection, and best wishes.

Note: Show honor and respect to your family members, especially mothers and grandmothers.  It means a lot to them.

PROMPT: A bride-to-be and her mother are on opposite ends of the spectrum in regards to these two ideologies.  Write a conversation in which they are talking about wedding details/plans.  Try to not have the characters specifically mention their ideology but instead have their own agenda come through their dialogue.

#2 - Listen and understand to what people are saying.
As I've mentioned before, a wedding is both a celebration and a grieving process for family members.  The bride and groom create a new family and leave their old ones on their wedding day.  Because there are so many transitions going on, there is a lot of joy and pain.  There is a lot of stress.  While the stress is inevitable, how you deal with it is key.  Listen and understand where people are coming from.  You will not regret it.

PROMPT: Your first-person narrator is mute.  Write at least two pages of your narrator interacting with someone close to them.

#3 - Be specific.
After you're done listening, be specific when you voice your own opinions and emotions.  Don't use words like always or never.  Even something like "most of the time" should be avoided.  Say how you felt at a specific time because of a specific action.

PROMPT: Character 1 said something to Character 2 that hurt his/her feelings.  Write about how Character 2 approaches Character 1 about the situation.