Thursday, February 12, 2015

Searching for "The One"


When I was in middle school, I wrote a checklist of my requirements for my future husband.  Everything I wrote were good things.  I think its important to have some general personality traits in mind for your future spouse.  After all, you don't want to marry just anyone.


I began to envision this one man out there specifically set aside by God for me.  I thought there was ONE guy, and I just had to find him in the sea of strangers.  Once I met him, everything would fall into place.


That idea of soul mates has our generation is severely disillusioned.

In relationships, we're looking for "the one", that one person who will be perfectly matched, someone we will never fight with or argue.

In our careers, we're out searching for our "dream jobs".  We think if we're not eager to wake up in the morning, whistling as we drive in traffic to our job, that something is missing and we need to keep looking for something we love to do.

In our families, when presented with brokenness and instability, we go off looking for something else to fill that void, thinking that families aren't supposed to cause this much stress and heartache.

In our churches, we amble along happy enough with the service and community until some drama arises.  Then we jump ship, thinking there is a better church out there.

Instead of working to improve the relationships and opportunities we have, we are more likely to pack up and move on when times get rough, convinced that something out there is better.


Lately, I've been confronted with the fact that we're always wanting something more.  I don't think this is a bad thing; its a natural reaction.  The issue comes with the fact that we don't want to put in any effort to change.

We complain about our marriages, our jobs, our friends, our parents, our churches.  The irony is that if we put some time and effort into improving the areas we dislike, we would probably see more improvement.

The problem lies with our belief that there is something better out there that is a perfect fit and wouldn't require so much effort.


I think the men and women of the yester-generation got one thing right: hard work can take you far.  If something wasn't right, they worked to fix it.  They sacrificed, put some elbow grease into it.

This generation feels entitled, though we don't all agree on what we're entitled to.  This idea of "the one" in our relationships, our jobs, and our lives has made us thinking there has got to be something better out there.  We encounter brokenness and instead of facing it head on, we cling on to this idea of a perfect solution.  We don't realize that satisfaction and happiness don't just happen naturally (or magically). 

I have since discovered that my relationships, my job situation, my church, my family are all much more rewarding if I put some effort into making it so.  Instead of dreaming of green grass, I've taken time to prune and water and seen the results. 

My husband isn't my soul mate.  He's the one I've chosen.

And that makes it all the more beautiful.

Soli Deo Gloria. 

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Related posts:
My Husband Isn't My Soulmate Either

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When Two are Better than One
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The Transition from My to Our
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