Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Valentine's Day vs. S.A.D.

It's that time of year again.  Be prepared for the onslaught of social media posts!

One half of them would bat their eyelashes if they could, dripping with the sappy and overly intimate details of what couples did to celebrate the Day of Love.  Complete with emoticon hearts and kisses.

The other half will be so chock full of cynicism and bitterness that you get choked by it when you innocently walk by.  Then shove a murdered cupid in your face.

Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit.  But you get the picture.

Let's just say there are many extreme emotions being expressed around this time of year!

What's the deal?

I have often wondered why people are so bitter toward the holiday.  After all, the holiday originated in commemoration of a martyred saint, or so the tale goes.

But of course, that's not what we're celebrating on February 14th.

But what are we celebrating?

The fact that we aren't alone?

The fact that we have someone to hug, to kiss, to take us out to dinner?

And if we aren't celebrating Valentine's Day but instead are bitter about its very existence, why?

Because we are alone?  We feel lonely?

Or because we don't have someone to kiss and take us out to dinner?

Or is it because we're jealous?

Do you know what I find sad?

In America, Valentine's Day is all about couples.

It's all about romantic love and whether or not you have it.

Do you know what I also find sad?

That our desire for romantic love, companionship, etc. has allowed human relationships to become the source for our self-esteem and our identity.

Companionship, marriage, relationships, love, smooches...they aren't wrong.  But when they become all that we live for?  Even as admirable and wonderful as marriage is, there is a lot more to life than finding a husband. 

People say I don't know what it feels like to feel lonely.  I've always had a boyfriend.  It's been a decade since I've spent a Valentine's Day alone.  True.

But as a wife, I have what they desire.  I've got the great husband, the growing marriage, the smooches, the dinner dates.  And you know what?

It doesn't satisfy.

Okay, I'm just going to say it.  Our society is obsessed with relationships.  And when I say obsessed, I mean that its unhealthy.  Too much of a good thing, even companionship, is dangerous.  Even in the church, you aren't considered a proper adult unless you're married and have kids.  Our culture is screaming at us to find a mate and find one quick.

Since when did it become person inadequate to be single?

So in honor both Valentine's Day and Singles Awareness Day, I would like to make a suggestion.

Let's just celebrate love.

Love between siblings.  Love between husband and wife.  Love between parents and children.  Love between friends.  Love between enemies.

Let's celebrate something that isn't going to segregate. Let's celebrate by being patient, kind, not boastful.  Let's not keep record of wrongs.  Let's not dishonor others, not be self-seeking, not be easily angered. Let us rejoice with the truth.  Let's rejoice in all things and hope in all things.  I think that's something worth celebrating.

Soli Deo Gloria. 

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To Date or Not To Date
When Two are Better Than One
How Kissing Dating Goodbye Affected My Marriage
Loving When There is So Much to Lose
Misconceptions of Marriage
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'Til Death Do Us Part
525,949 Minutes of Marriage