Tuesday, March 11, 2014

I'm Married and I Miss Being Single

I'm married, and I'm telling you guys...if you're single, that's okay.

I actually miss being single in some ways.  I miss the freedom, the flexibility and the independence.  My calendar only had one set of appointments on it: mine.  If something came up, I didn't have to ask someone if I could go out.  I just did.  My goals were mine, and I didn't have to run them by someone.  If I had an idea, I could just go for it. Nothing held me back. I could focus on what I wanted to do. I could focus more on God (although I didn't always do that, to be honest).

Don't get me wrong. I love marriage.  I love being married to my high school sweetheart, sharing my life with someone.  That does include asking permission and running ideas by my husband first, and that's a beautiful and wonderful thing. 

But just because I love where I am now doesn't mean I can't miss what I used to have.

I wrote earlier about how our society is obsessed with relationships.  It's so true.  We're taught from a young age (Disney movies, come on) that we're made for a relationship with one other person.  We get caught up in the search for "the one" and start to dream about when our lives will be complete.

But our lives can be complete when we're single too.

Another blogger, Matthew Jones, wrote:
"When churches neglect to preach and model the good of singleness and celibacy, when they glut themselves on the opium of romance or oversell marriage to the detriment of both married and single people, they aren’t just straying from the truth of the Bible – they are corroding and constricting the imaginations of those in the congregation."
I love how he suggests that the church oversells marriage.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that marriage is the ultimate goal.  Marriage is not the pinnacle of our lives, nor is it the ultimate source of happiness.  In fact, the more that we think that, the less likely our marriage will last.  Insinuating that this relationship, even as holy and blessed it can be, is the pinnacle of happiness cheats God out of what He deserves.

Singleness is a gift, one I know that I took for granted while I had it.  I spent so much of my time searching for a relationship that I missed out of the freedom and unfettered energy that a single life had to offer.  If I could go back, I wish I change that part of my outlook.

So, if you're single right now, enjoy it.  Live life.  Seek out ways to minister to others.  Love everyone (whether or not they could be a significant other someday) with abandon.  Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, your mind, and your soul.  If you do get married someday, you won't regret it.

Soli Deo Gloria. 

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Related posts:
Valentine's Day vs. S.A.D.
How Kissing Dating Goodbye Affected My Marriage
Loving When There is So Much to Lose
Misconceptions of Marriage
To Date or Not to Date