I'm Married and I Miss Being Single

I'm married, and I'm telling you guys...if you're single, that's okay.

I actually miss being single in some ways.  I miss the freedom, the flexibility and the independence.  My calendar only had one set of appointments on it: mine.  If something came up, I didn't have to ask someone if I could go out.  I just did.  My goals were mine, and I didn't have to run them by someone.  If I had an idea, I could just go for it. Nothing held me back. I could focus on what I wanted to do. I could focus more on God (although I didn't always do that, to be honest).

Don't get me wrong. I love marriage.  I love being married to my high school sweetheart, sharing my life with someone.  That does include asking permission and running ideas by my husband first, and that's a beautiful and wonderful thing. 

But just because I love where I am now doesn't mean I can't miss what I used to have.

It's Time to Burn Those Self-Esteem Posts

I'm on Facebook, browsing through my Newsfeed, and then I get bombarded by all of these posts telling me one thing:

YOU. THINK ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE IMPORTANT. YOU'RE SPECIAL. YOU'RE LOVED. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF.

There are plenty of people who struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence.  And I'm sure that these people really find these types of posts encouraging.

But I think some of them need to get burned.

I use the word burned not to insinuate violence but to mean disappear without a trace.  They need to leave and take their influence with them.  I want them incinerated.

I'm being overly opinionated, and I might not be right.  I have to admit that I don't really know what it feels like to lack confidence in myself.  In fact, I should probably distributing some of my confidence to other people; I have too much for just one person.

BUT I still feel like I have a point here.

Downton Abbey in America

Season 4 just ended, and as always, I'm left in a dreamy state.  There's something so attractive about Downton Abbey.  You can't help but wish to be a part of the British aristocracy and feel pity and admiration for the working class that run the estate.  So appreciate PBS's attention to historical detail, capturing the drama that occurred as the world changed its course in the early 1900s. 

In Season 4, Episode 5, the Countess of Grantham says to her maid Baxter that she was attending a charity function.  When asked what she would like to wear, the Countess said she does not want to make anyone feel bad.

The scene, though minor, caught my attention. It shone light on what we knew but hadn't brought to the forefront of our minds: Image is so important to the aristocracy.  What you wear, who you marry, how you talk, what words you say.  The package that you present to the social public is important. You have the choice, even if you are of a higher status than the rest, to be thoughtful about what you wear.  It was a business decision to make sure that you carry yourself a certain way.  It was a way of life.

THE UPPER CLASS IN AMERICA

This sounds shallow to us with a 21st Century American middle class mindset.  We value freedom, individuality, being able to be who we want to be.

But the reality is that mindset still exists with us today.

5 Tips for a Happier Life

Happiness is what everyone wants.  You don't need to be a genius to see that in today's culture.  Humans long, desire, yearn for satisfaction and contentment.  Lasting happiness.

But feelings come and go.  Emotions are more unstable than radioactive atoms.  We're just not happy all the time.  So we search for new methods to attain what we want.
 
I don't know much, but there are a few things I've learned so far that might help us live happier lives. 

Deep Questions, Simple Answers

Throughout all the years of my short life, I have never lacked something to do.  Between school, work, my writing, church, relationships, friends, etc. I've always had a goal, something to work toward.  Busy is one of those words that describes me well.

However, even though I always had activity in my life, sometimes I struggled with the point of it all.

Last year in January, I wrote a blog post about struggling with courage.  I was having a hard time at the point, adjusting to being a newlywed, changes at my job, and shifts in family dynamics.  I wanted to know what my purpose was on this earth.  I knew I had purpose; I'm passionate about a lot of things.  But how did that fit in the bigger picture?  Where was the culmination of all my passions supposed toward?

After daily sifting through possible answers to my wonderings, I have discovered when it comes down to it, the answer is simple.