It was a dark and stormy night once upon a time...

I have a writer's confession to make.

I like cliches.

I'm a little ashamed of it.  After all, you're taught pretty much once you leave elementary school that cliches are "sooooo yesterday".  Overused and not creative.

But they once were creative.  Once saying someone's heart thumped in their chest caused someone to nod in approval.  Once wracking one's brain was clever.  At one time, a blanket of snow opened a reader's mind to a new scene.

Why Manners Matter

Don't chew with your mouth open.

Don't put your elbows on the table.

Don't belch in public.  If you do burp, say, "Excuse me."  

Bring the food to your mouth, not your mouth to the food.

Don't pick your nose.


Have you ever asked yourself what is the point of manners?

They don't really do anything.  Not anything important anyway.  It's not like The Ten Commandments or the Amendments of the Constitution.  No one is going to get hurt or die if you put your elbows on the table.  Is there really a point to knowing which side of the plate the fork goes on?

The Creative Elite

The word for them is snobs.  They would probably prefer to be called aficionados or experts.  But no, the word for them is still snobs. 

They are those people who look down on you for your lack of knowledge about Beethoven and Debussy.  Who judge you because you don't know the difference between pointillism and impressionism.  Who look at your feeble attempts at a novel and laugh out loud.  

Every field has them, and in the creative arts, the opportunities for snobbishness increase exponentially.  Because creativity is often not always a skill taught but sometimes a talent acquired.  Some people are just born with it, and learning all of the extras is the easy part.

On top of that, there is the specialized language.  When you as a classical music person a question, they will answer with words like adagio, diminuendo, and other Italian words that you have no idea what they mean when they could have just said "slow" and you would've understood what they've said.

These elite use the terms of their field to differentiate who is in the know and who isn't.  It's a pretty good litmus test.  A few can pass through the first few uses, but once you keep going through your laundry list of words, pretty soon the intruder will stumble and you'll know them for who they really are: a wannabe. 

Deep Questions, Simple Answers

Throughout all the years of my short life, I have never lacked something to do.  Between school, work, my writing, church, relationships, friends, etc. I've always had a goal, something to work toward.  Busy is one of those words that describes me well.

However, even though I always had activity in my life, sometimes I struggled with the point of it all.

Last year in January, I wrote a blog post about struggling with courage.  I was having a hard time at the point, adjusting to being a newlywed, changes at my job, and shifts in family dynamics.  I wanted to know what my purpose was on this earth.  I knew I had purpose; I'm passionate about a lot of things.  But how did that fit in the bigger picture?  Where was the culmination of all my passions supposed toward?

After daily sifting through possible answers to my wonderings, I have discovered when it comes down to it, the answer is simple.

The Adult Threshold: Age 25

Winter Formal Picture - I'm 16!

If you're a young adult, you know what new things you can (or cannot) do once you hit certain benchmark ages.

At 16, you can get your license!!!!!!!

At 18, you can drive minors legally, buy cigarettes, buy lottery tickets, go to prison, vote, etc.

At 21, you can drink alcohol and you can drink more alcohol.

And at age 25, you can rent a car without insanely high fees (among other things).  The government considers you "responsible" now.  There is nothing left to look forward to.  This is your last benchmark. Well, until you hit 65.  And that's not something you're looking forward to.

I recently hit my last "young" benchmark.  I no longer have any age-restricted, coming-of-age celebrations to look forward to that aren't decades. 

My Husband Isn't My Soul Mate Either

This blog post is a response to another blog post I read called My Husband is Not My Soul Mate.  Take time to read it.  It's pretty awesome.  She starts off building a background on the perpetration of the soul mate idea in Christian churches:

Do you remember those awesome Evangelical 90’s/ early 2000’s where Jesus was kind of like our boyfriend and we all kissed dating good-bye because we just knew that God was going to bring us THE ONE and then life would be awesome? ... We would know that he was THE ONE because of his plethora of WWJD bracelets and because (duh) he had also kissed dating goodbye and was waiting for me, strumming Chris Tomlin songs on his guitar as he stared into whatever campfire was nearby. We would get married and it would be awesome FOREVER. If you were like me, in devote preparation for this moment, you wrote letters to your future spouse, preferably in a leather bound journal dotted with your overwhelmed tears.

The fact of the matter is that there is a small part of us that wants to hold on to that idea of a perfect mate, someone who will be so obscenely compatible with us, it will be disgusting. 

But that isn't reality.

An Austenland Movie Review (from someone who has read the book)

First off, you must understand that I have read the Austenland novel more than once, and it has taken its place amongst one of my favorite novels.  It's not a masterpiece of literature by any long shot, but I appreciated the depth of character in what most would consider a chick flick.  On top of that, it is a fun read.

The Austenland movie came out awhile ago with a limited showing, so I wasn't able to see it until recently.  I write this review with the premise that I am judging the book's portrayal in cinematic form, not as a stand-alone film.

I understand that the move from book to movie requires changes.  There is not a way one can accurately translate a reader's imagination and a character's internal dialogue easily to the screen.  So, I go into the movie understanding that there will be changes and it won't be the same as the book.

Disappointment #1: Use of Satire

While the novel definitely has elements of humor, director Jerusha Hess, best known for Napoleon Dynamite, took that element to a new level and made Austenland a satire.

I understand how she could take it that direction.  In the end, Shannon Hale, author of the novel, is poking light fun at our society's view of romance and women's obsession with Mr. Darcy.  However, taking it to the ridiculous level that Hess does in order to emphasize the satire disregarded Hale's subtle empathy for the Darcy-obsessed.

Loving When There is So Much to Lose

Marriage has its moments. Moments of pure, unadulterated contentment. Moments of deep and continual longing. Moments of unthinkable hurt, anger and frustration. Moments of just being sad.

There is so much to lose because is so much to gain. You place everything, practically, in the hands of someone else and tell them, “Take care of these things please.” The challenge is you give them your heart without much of an instruction manual.

There are times in my life when I've had things click, those ah-ha! moments that you feel so stupid for not figuring it out earlier (it was so simple!) but at the same time, so proud that you have attained this new-found perspective.  I like to share those things with you.  I hope that by sharing some of my blood, sweat and tears, you can avoid the same.

Here is one of the moments that someone did that for me.  I heard this on the Air1 radio station and its been gnawing at me ever since.  The host, Brant, was telling about a recent argument with his wife in which she doubted him.  Then he said this: