The Necessary Evil of Small Talk

Sometimes I dread going to the salon to get my haircut.  You're in there for a good hour and a half, and its understood by all parties involved that you will make the necessary small talk the entire time as to eliminate any awkward silences.

So, I prep myself ahead of time.  I think of things to talk about with the lady who washes my hair.  The weather, my new house, and oh, how is her boyfriend doing?  My hair stylist, luckily, cuts the hair of a dozen people in my family, so family news updates are encouraged.  I can talk about my grandma and my sisters and my mom, and she'll be in the "know" already.

Still, there are times I run out of things to say, and I'll sit there awkwardly as the music is pumping and the scissors snip to the beat.  Then, my stylists will say, "So, how's work?"

We're Addicted to Stories

As readers, we've all been there.  We're reading this amazing book and we are drowning in it.  You just can't put that stack of paper down.

After you finish, there is a bittersweet moment.  The ending was so good, but its over!  Why does it have to be over?

So, you go off in search of another book just as fabulous.  You either search the shelves, read reviews on Amazon, or type frantically, just waiting to get that "high" again.

But it doesn't come.

So you spend hours upon hours looking for something else that will give you that same high.

Okay, you're starting to see my analogy.  No, books are not as dangerous as drugs, but I think something needs to be said about story addiction.

What's Your Character's Love Language?

In my opinion, the key to great books is solid characters.

The key to solid characters is understanding what makes your characters tick, knowing their priorities and what drives them.

The key to gaining that sort of intimate understanding of these fictional people you've created in your brain is to study the real people and the relationships around you.

The best real person to start with is yourself.

So, let's start asking a few questions about your characters.

WHAT'S YOUR CHARACTER'S LOVE LANGUAGE?

Strength in Words

My eyes were red and swollen from crying.  I hadn't sobbed during the funeral service; I had only released a steady stream of compassionate tears.  Uncle Bill had lived a good life, a long one.  He had left behind a legacy of children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters.  He had escaped a future of battling brain cancer.  Death is not often a good thing, but in this case, there was not much to darken the shadow.

Still, he was gone, and he left behind a hole.  I cried silently for that hole.

Now at the interment, we stood in a long line, waiting to pay our respects to the family with a red rose in our hand for the casket.  The family assembled in a row, all of them people whom I knew by name and had spent time with.  I squinted in the sun to hide the redness in my eyes.

My Right to Be Angry

You might be like me, and have a few people that you are continuously angry with.  For me, they have done "legitimate" harm to me; they've hurt me.  While I am not without fault, I was definitely wronged by most people's standards.

I'm so tired of carrying around the emotional weight, but I can't seem to let it go.  How in the world am I supposed to forgive them?  I wish it were just as easy as throwing something away or taking off a heavy jacket. 

Did you know that the origin of the word "forgiveness" comes from the Old English forgiefan "give, grant, allow; forgive," also "to give up" and "to give in marriage;" from for- "completely" + giefan "give"? 

The modern sense of "to give up desire or power to punish" is from use of the compound as a Germanic loan-translation of Latin 'perdonare'. (Source: Online Etymology) 

In other words, forgiveness means completely giving up of your right to be angry.

Well, sorta.  It's not a bad thing to be angry.  It's a bad thing when you carry around emotional baggage, grudges, or other pent up negative energy because someone has done something bad to you.

That's what I mean by your "right to be angry".  Forgiveness means giving THAT up.

Why You Need to Pause Before Posting

 We live in a different age.  Having been born on the tail end of the "Gen Y" group, just missing being stuck in "Gen Tech" by a few years,  I was able to see the world before and after the invasion of the Internet.

They define the Gen Tech generation as those who do not remember life before Internet.  They may have been born before Internet was widely available in the common American home, but they weren't old enough to remember those times.

Me?  I remember playing in the mud, walking up to my neighbor's house and asking if Katie could come out and play, and rollerblading and biking until the sun went down.

I don't want to sound old and "bash" on technology.  This digital age is both exciting and frightening, and while most youth toot how awesome all of these fast-paced technological advances are for mankind, I'd like to offer the alternate view.

I'm Married and I Miss Being Single

I'm married, and I'm telling you guys...if you're single, that's okay.

I actually miss being single in some ways.  I miss the freedom, the flexibility and the independence.  My calendar only had one set of appointments on it: mine.  If something came up, I didn't have to ask someone if I could go out.  I just did.  My goals were mine, and I didn't have to run them by someone.  If I had an idea, I could just go for it. Nothing held me back. I could focus on what I wanted to do. I could focus more on God (although I didn't always do that, to be honest).

Don't get me wrong. I love marriage.  I love being married to my high school sweetheart, sharing my life with someone.  That does include asking permission and running ideas by my husband first, and that's a beautiful and wonderful thing. 

But just because I love where I am now doesn't mean I can't miss what I used to have.

It's Time to Burn Those Self-Esteem Posts

I'm on Facebook, browsing through my Newsfeed, and then I get bombarded by all of these posts telling me one thing:

YOU. THINK ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE IMPORTANT. YOU'RE SPECIAL. YOU'RE LOVED. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF.

There are plenty of people who struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence.  And I'm sure that these people really find these types of posts encouraging.

But I think some of them need to get burned.

I use the word burned not to insinuate violence but to mean disappear without a trace.  They need to leave and take their influence with them.  I want them incinerated.

I'm being overly opinionated, and I might not be right.  I have to admit that I don't really know what it feels like to lack confidence in myself.  In fact, I should probably distributing some of my confidence to other people; I have too much for just one person.

BUT I still feel like I have a point here.