The Necessary Evil of Small Talk

Sometimes I dread going to the salon to get my haircut.  You're in there for a good hour and a half, and its understood by all parties involved that you will make the necessary small talk the entire time as to eliminate any awkward silences.

So, I prep myself ahead of time.  I think of things to talk about with the lady who washes my hair.  The weather, my new house, and oh, how is her boyfriend doing?  My hair stylist, luckily, cuts the hair of a dozen people in my family, so family news updates are encouraged.  I can talk about my grandma and my sisters and my mom, and she'll be in the "know" already.

Still, there are times I run out of things to say, and I'll sit there awkwardly as the music is pumping and the scissors snip to the beat.  Then, my stylists will say, "So, how's work?"

My Right to Be Angry

You might be like me, and have a few people that you are continuously angry with.  For me, they have done "legitimate" harm to me; they've hurt me.  While I am not without fault, I was definitely wronged by most people's standards.

I'm so tired of carrying around the emotional weight, but I can't seem to let it go.  How in the world am I supposed to forgive them?  I wish it were just as easy as throwing something away or taking off a heavy jacket. 

Did you know that the origin of the word "forgiveness" comes from the Old English forgiefan "give, grant, allow; forgive," also "to give up" and "to give in marriage;" from for- "completely" + giefan "give"? 

The modern sense of "to give up desire or power to punish" is from use of the compound as a Germanic loan-translation of Latin 'perdonare'. (Source: Online Etymology) 

In other words, forgiveness means completely giving up of your right to be angry.

Well, sorta.  It's not a bad thing to be angry.  It's a bad thing when you carry around emotional baggage, grudges, or other pent up negative energy because someone has done something bad to you.

That's what I mean by your "right to be angry".  Forgiveness means giving THAT up.

Why You Need to Pause Before Posting

 We live in a different age.  Having been born on the tail end of the "Gen Y" group, just missing being stuck in "Gen Tech" by a few years,  I was able to see the world before and after the invasion of the Internet.

They define the Gen Tech generation as those who do not remember life before Internet.  They may have been born before Internet was widely available in the common American home, but they weren't old enough to remember those times.

Me?  I remember playing in the mud, walking up to my neighbor's house and asking if Katie could come out and play, and rollerblading and biking until the sun went down.

I don't want to sound old and "bash" on technology.  This digital age is both exciting and frightening, and while most youth toot how awesome all of these fast-paced technological advances are for mankind, I'd like to offer the alternate view.

Valentine's Day vs. S.A.D.

It's that time of year again.  Be prepared for the onslaught of social media posts!

One half of them would bat their eyelashes if they could, dripping with the sappy and overly intimate details of what couples did to celebrate the Day of Love.  Complete with emoticon hearts and kisses.

The other half will be so chock full of cynicism and bitterness that you get choked by it when you innocently walk by.  Then shove a murdered cupid in your face.

Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit.  But you get the picture.

Let's just say there are many extreme emotions being expressed around this time of year!

What's the deal?

Why I Hate Make Up

I posted a photo of myself with make-up on and in the caption made the comment that I hated make-up.

Quite a few girls commented.

"Huh?"
"What?"
"But you look so good!"

I tried to explain in a few words but couldn't quite get them to understand: I have a love hate relationship with make-up.

The reasons why I like it are pretty obvious; it makes you look good.  Here is why I hate it:

Thanks Jennifer Lawrence, Now I Feel Fat

Jennifer Lawrence says that she's consider a fat actress.

In mid-December, the Internet buzzed with Jennifer Lawrence's declaration that "it should be illegal to call people fat on TV."

She also said she's considered a "fat actress".

Thanks, Jennifer Lawrence.  Now I feel fat.

I'm being a little harsh on the girl.  I mean, I agree with her and appreciate her conviction to fight the "image battle" in the Hollywood scene.  I also agree with her opinion to equate cigarettes, sex and cuss words with calling people fat.  She said:

"I just think it should be illegal to call somebody fat on TV. I mean, if we're regulating cigarettes and sex and cuss words because of the effect it has on our younger generation, why aren't we regulating things like calling people fat?"

I think its wise to call out media's effect on the young people of this generation.  If we're trying to censor certain things for their well-being, why not words and phrases that make them second guess their image and identity?

But I still feel fat. 

Everyone Should Work in Retail

You know what the solution is for world peace?  Have everyone work for at least 6 months at a retail or customer service position.

Because there is something powerful that happens when you're paid to serve people.

Oh, the stories I have...

I worked at Mervyn's shoe department for about a year and a half while in college.  I enjoyed my job, but boy, did I encounter some annoying people!  And now I have a bunch of funny stories to tell.

Why Manners Matter

Don't chew with your mouth open.

Don't put your elbows on the table.

Don't belch in public.  If you do burp, say, "Excuse me."  

Bring the food to your mouth, not your mouth to the food.

Don't pick your nose.


Have you ever asked yourself what is the point of manners?

They don't really do anything.  Not anything important anyway.  It's not like The Ten Commandments or the Amendments of the Constitution.  No one is going to get hurt or die if you put your elbows on the table.  Is there really a point to knowing which side of the plate the fork goes on?

An Austenland Movie Review (from someone who has read the book)

First off, you must understand that I have read the Austenland novel more than once, and it has taken its place amongst one of my favorite novels.  It's not a masterpiece of literature by any long shot, but I appreciated the depth of character in what most would consider a chick flick.  On top of that, it is a fun read.

The Austenland movie came out awhile ago with a limited showing, so I wasn't able to see it until recently.  I write this review with the premise that I am judging the book's portrayal in cinematic form, not as a stand-alone film.

I understand that the move from book to movie requires changes.  There is not a way one can accurately translate a reader's imagination and a character's internal dialogue easily to the screen.  So, I go into the movie understanding that there will be changes and it won't be the same as the book.

Disappointment #1: Use of Satire

While the novel definitely has elements of humor, director Jerusha Hess, best known for Napoleon Dynamite, took that element to a new level and made Austenland a satire.

I understand how she could take it that direction.  In the end, Shannon Hale, author of the novel, is poking light fun at our society's view of romance and women's obsession with Mr. Darcy.  However, taking it to the ridiculous level that Hess does in order to emphasize the satire disregarded Hale's subtle empathy for the Darcy-obsessed.

My Problem with Christians

I love God.  I love Jesus.  But sometimes, I have a really hard time loving His followers.

As a Christian myself, I look at our American church with a mix of admiration and disgust and disappointment.  In the end, when my passionate anger dies away, what is left is that lingering sadness.

I don't want to sound like I have all the answers because I don't.  But I think we're doing it wrong, guys.  Our focus is all off.  Even our well-intentioned efforts are only making it harder for us in the end.

The Slippery Slope of Tolerance

When I was in middle school, the faculty installed big banners that promoted positive thinking on the beams above the common areas.  They had words like Integrity, Respect, and Tolerance.  I remember some teachers start discussing what each of those words meant in class, probably some all-school program that I wasn't fully aware of.

In class, one of my teachers defined tolerance as accepting everyone's beliefs, even if they disagreed with you.  I remember her stressing this point, and even at the young age, I sensed that this word was an issue.  At the time, I couldn't understand why anyone would have a problem being tolerant.  If someone disagreed that handball wasn't the best playground sport, I wasn't going to hate him for saying that (even though handball IS the best playground sport).  Simple enough, right?

A Call for Christian Artists!

Dear Christian Artist,

For the purpose of this post, I am going to define "artist" as anyone who produces any creative work, such as a painter, a musician, a writer, a songwriter, a movie producer, an actor/actress, a photographer, etc.

You are rare! Did you know that? You are a rare gem in the Christian world. Why? Because in the creative field, there is more freedom. You know this. Your ability to create and to twist and to pull anything you feel like. That is the freedom I'm talking about. And, of course, the world has taken that opportunity, that freedom and used creative works to demonstrate perverted and vile things. Sex, immorality, rudeness, a blurring of the truth, etc. The world has taken the expression of the human self and used it to portray ungodly material. So, the Christians left that world, that creative sector.

My Name is Not Amy Tan

When I write, I always hesitate putting in my character's ethnicity.  Sometimes, I've specifically imagined my character being white, Asian, etc., but I never include that information in the story.  I tend to keep the hair and eye color pretty generic; they vary between different shades of brown. They never have a last name.

I am American-born Chinese, and though I've never specifically had someone tell me this, I feel like if I do mention a character's ethnicity in my story, then its automatically about race.

It Takes Two

As an English major, writer, and human being, I am acutely aware that what you say usually isn't what is heard.

That's usually a problem.

Anyone who's dated know this firsthand.  You say one thing, he hears another.  That's the issue with communication is that there are TWO people involved.  Two very different people with different sets of vocabulary, connotations, backgrounds, upbringings, and slang.

We're not even getting into body language here, just words for the moment.

My belief is that it is the responsibility of the communicator to do their best to ensure that the listener is understanding what is being communicated in the intended way.

Porn or Pr0n: What's the Difference?!

There are certain "faux pas" words in our English language that are socially unacceptable to write or say.  I'm sure you can think of a few off the top of your head.

One of my friends used to always use the word "pr0n" instead of "pornography" or "porn," and it always struck me as odd.  Does switching the letters around and substituting a zero for the "o" really changing anything?  People who read what you typed understand that pr0n = porn so there is no difference in meaning.  Are there people who really are less offended because one attempted to "hide" the word?