My Right to Be Angry

You might be like me, and have a few people that you are continuously angry with.  For me, they have done "legitimate" harm to me; they've hurt me.  While I am not without fault, I was definitely wronged by most people's standards.

I'm so tired of carrying around the emotional weight, but I can't seem to let it go.  How in the world am I supposed to forgive them?  I wish it were just as easy as throwing something away or taking off a heavy jacket. 

Did you know that the origin of the word "forgiveness" comes from the Old English forgiefan "give, grant, allow; forgive," also "to give up" and "to give in marriage;" from for- "completely" + giefan "give"? 

The modern sense of "to give up desire or power to punish" is from use of the compound as a Germanic loan-translation of Latin 'perdonare'. (Source: Online Etymology) 

In other words, forgiveness means completely giving up of your right to be angry.

Well, sorta.  It's not a bad thing to be angry.  It's a bad thing when you carry around emotional baggage, grudges, or other pent up negative energy because someone has done something bad to you.

That's what I mean by your "right to be angry".  Forgiveness means giving THAT up.

All Who Are Weary

Dear friend,

It makes me sad to see you in pain, to see you stressed.  I really don't want you to be so manipulated by the world around you.  Sometimes I see what worries you, what really gets you down, and I wish I could just tell you, "This is so trivial.  It's not worth worrying about."  But that would be insensitive because obviously, its worth worrying about to you.

What I'm trying to say I wish for you something better.  I don't pretend to know the secret to life or have it all together, because I don't, but what I do know is that God will give us rest.

What I do know is that Jesus promises us this:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (NIV, Matthew 11:28-30)

You mention pain in your life, and I want to just tell you to let it go.  Shed those burdens.  Stop carrying that baggage around with you everywhere.  It's not worth it.  But I know its not that easy. 

You will grow with time, I know.  You are strong.  I just pray you start to realize that your world doesn't need to revolve around your problems.  It sounds harsh, but I say it with love.  Trust my own experience.  The sooner you live for something bigger than yourself, something other than your life, the better your life gets.  Promise.

I keep thinking of this song.  May the lyrics bless you.

All who are weak, all who are weary

All who are tired, all who are thirsty

All who have failed, all who are broken

Come to the rock, come to the fountain 

I care about you!  And so does Jesus.  Lay your burdens at His feet and He will give you rest. 

Love,
Cheryl


Soli Deo Gloria.


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Related Posts:
Why I Go to the Movies 
The Gift of Giving 
Making Time for Fun 
To Party or Not To Party (Part 1 & Part 2)
An Ode to Friendship

 

Blue Christmas

Normally, Christmas is a time of joy, celebration and fun for me.  I get so excited about Christmas shopping that I start in July and finish by November.  I love decorating, putting up lights and baking. 

But this year, I have a heavier heart than normal.

Marla, a woman in my congregation who had been fighting cancer, passed away on Friday, December 13th.  Her daughter is 16.  It was her husband's birthday.

A close family friend, Bill, who was struggling with four brain tumors, had a massive stroke and died on Saturday, December 14th.  He was a grandfather to two of my friends and a close friend of my grandmother.  His death the day after Marla's hit hard.

Christmas is not a happy occasion for everyone.  

Some people are missing loved ones during the holidays.  Some are struggling with the fact that they can't give gifts to their kids.  Others don't know if this will be their last holiday season.

The holidays are dark for many. 

How do you make it okay?

How do you help them to enjoy the season?

How do you help them see the little bits of joy and peace and love in the midst of the tragedy?

This is the God We Serve

I'm not one to toot my own horn.  Well, I used to be, but I'm trying to not do that as much anymore.  (Ironic when I have a personal blog?)  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want this to be about me.  Because its not.  This whole thing.  The blog, the video, my life.  It's not about me.

Because I serve a great God.

The video above is the message that I gave at my church back in October.  If you haven't already, I would be honored if you would watch it.  It's been on Youtube for awhile now, but I haven't had a chance to really develop my thoughts into something tangible.  What I kept coming back to was simply this phrase:

Grace Starts Now

Someone I know well, whom I will call Meryl, has more than once said mean, hurtful things to me.  She's the type of person who, when stressed and under pressure, buckles and starts lashing out because it feels like everything is falling down around her.

Recently, Meryl assumed I had done something to hurt her when it was in fact an oversight.  Well, regardless of what it was, she told me this, and I was angry.  It was an honest mistake.  I wasn't trying to do any harm or disrespect.

So, I got mad. I vented to my husband via text.  I start thinking of all the things I wanted to say but hadn't out of restraint.  I thought of all the ways I was right and all of the ways she was wrong.

The next day, she apologized, saying that she was wrong, that she knew I had just made an honest mistake, and it was poor character for her to say those things.

Ouch.

Our Mission: Making Disciples of All Nations

In the Christian world, you will hear of members say phrases like, "going on missions" or "supporting missions."  They are most likely be referring to the word meaning a group of people going to a foreign country to preach the Gospel and/or assist with relief.  

Why does the definition have to include the word "foreign"?  

I mean, Jesus said, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."  In another Gospel, He says it this way, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." 

There is no place in there that I see him implying that you have to travel by plane to get there. 

Deep Questions, Simple Answers

Throughout all the years of my short life, I have never lacked something to do.  Between school, work, my writing, church, relationships, friends, etc. I've always had a goal, something to work toward.  Busy is one of those words that describes me well.

However, even though I always had activity in my life, sometimes I struggled with the point of it all.

Last year in January, I wrote a blog post about struggling with courage.  I was having a hard time at the point, adjusting to being a newlywed, changes at my job, and shifts in family dynamics.  I wanted to know what my purpose was on this earth.  I knew I had purpose; I'm passionate about a lot of things.  But how did that fit in the bigger picture?  Where was the culmination of all my passions supposed toward?

After daily sifting through possible answers to my wonderings, I have discovered when it comes down to it, the answer is simple.

My Problem with Christians

I love God.  I love Jesus.  But sometimes, I have a really hard time loving His followers.

As a Christian myself, I look at our American church with a mix of admiration and disgust and disappointment.  In the end, when my passionate anger dies away, what is left is that lingering sadness.

I don't want to sound like I have all the answers because I don't.  But I think we're doing it wrong, guys.  Our focus is all off.  Even our well-intentioned efforts are only making it harder for us in the end.

A Call for Christian Artists!

Dear Christian Artist,

For the purpose of this post, I am going to define "artist" as anyone who produces any creative work, such as a painter, a musician, a writer, a songwriter, a movie producer, an actor/actress, a photographer, etc.

You are rare! Did you know that? You are a rare gem in the Christian world. Why? Because in the creative field, there is more freedom. You know this. Your ability to create and to twist and to pull anything you feel like. That is the freedom I'm talking about. And, of course, the world has taken that opportunity, that freedom and used creative works to demonstrate perverted and vile things. Sex, immorality, rudeness, a blurring of the truth, etc. The world has taken the expression of the human self and used it to portray ungodly material. So, the Christians left that world, that creative sector.

Reality Check

My husband and I were having an intellectual discussion the other day, and he coined the term "cognitive dissonance."  He may not be the first person to use the term, but he thought of it himself.  He used the term to mean when someone acts contrary to what they say their beliefs are.

That brought to mind the statement I heard when going through the Truth Project:

Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?

Porn or Pr0n: What's the Difference?!

There are certain "faux pas" words in our English language that are socially unacceptable to write or say.  I'm sure you can think of a few off the top of your head.

One of my friends used to always use the word "pr0n" instead of "pornography" or "porn," and it always struck me as odd.  Does switching the letters around and substituting a zero for the "o" really changing anything?  People who read what you typed understand that pr0n = porn so there is no difference in meaning.  Are there people who really are less offended because one attempted to "hide" the word?

A Good Friday

On Good Friday, the day we commemorate Jesus' death and honor His sacrifice, I often think of Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemene before he was taken.  I feel like this shows the heart of Jesus so well.  Enjoy.


John 17 (New International Version)

Jesus Prays to Be Glorified
 1 After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed:
   “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. 2 For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. 3 Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. 4 I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. 5 And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

Jesus Prays for His Disciples
    6 “I have revealed you[a] to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7 Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8 For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9 I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of[b] your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by[c] that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.
   13 “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by[d] the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

Jesus Prays for All Believers
    20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
   24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.
   25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you[e] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Learning from Lent (Part 2)

A few days ago, I started telling of my journey through Lent.  Check it out here!  It was the first time I've given up anything for Lent, and I chose coffee.

So, Lent is not quite over yet, but you're probably wondering with my overly dramatic intro in part 1 how I've been doing without caffeine.

I started off Ash Wednesday in Hawaii, the capitol of the decedent Kona coffee.  We arrived at the resort and for breakfast, the server offered us coffee.  We smiled and said, "Tea please."  The server seemed startled that we wouldn't want coffee. 

We returned from Hawaii and got back into the swing of things at work.  I missed walking in and making my trip to the Keurig maker for my cup of hazelnut or vanilla coffee.  The first few weeks continued similarly; I was always thinking about coffee.

Learning from Lent (Part 1)

This year was the first time I've ever given up something for Lent.  I gave up coffee.

Lent, the 40-day time of preparation for Easter, is a period celebrated by Christians.  The tradition of giving up something for that period of time is often observed by Catholics and some Protestants as a way of showing penitence or to symbolize Jesus' sacrifice (in some small way) in their own lives.

Giving something up, now, is supposed to somewhat difficult for you.  If I gave up mountain biking or going to the gym, the sacrifice would not be the same.  I don't mountain bike, and I don't enjoy going to the gym.  So, coffee.  Why was that a big deal for me?

Christmas...We're Doing It All Wrong!

Every Christmas season, I eagerly and excitedly get ready in anticipation for my favorite time of year.  If you follow me on Instagram, you'll see that lately, ALL of my posts have some sort of Christmas theme to them.

I know you've all heard it before, but the reason for the season often gets lost of in all of the doings and the goings.  We often try to make sure that we remember why we are celebrating.  You hear in church on Sundays the pastor tell you to SLOW DOWN and concentrate on what we're really doing.  Your children in Sunday School learn all of the symbols of Christmas and why we give gifts, etc.  But...it still feels like we're missing something.

The society today will try to convince you that Christmas is the time of year to give and to get.  The time of the year that everyone feels a little bit more generous and dumps that little bit of change in the Salvation Army kettle or donates hastily before the end of the year to that charity saying your gift will be doubled.  You hear of people on the radio talk about how we are so blessed in American and how kids in third world countries don't get anything for Christmas, not even food. 

I remember as a child on Christmas morning that my sisters and I would rush downstairs to see gazillions of presents spilling out from beneath the tree. We would want to open them, but Mom would always stop us, make us sit down at eat breakfast, and then we would sing Happy Birthday to Jesus.

Yes, we are celebrating Jesus' birth.  But that's not just what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.  Its not just Jesus' birth.  Because the more I learn about Christmas, the more I learn about we are celebrating WHY Jesus was born.

One of my favorite Christmas songs is by Relient K called "I Celebrate the Day".  (Listen to it here!)  Their single lyrics says it all for me:

I celebrate the day

That You were born to die

So I could one day pray to You to save my life

If we are to truly celebrate Christmas, isn't it imperative that we celebrate that Jesus was born to die?  Not just to die, but to die a painful, unthinkable death for me.  

I don't think I have truly wrapped my mind around that. 

How do we celebrate such a gift?  Its that moment when someone gives you something you so desperately need that you could not possible get for yourself.  Do we donate to poor children?  Give to families in need?  Sing Christmas carols?  Celebrate family?  

I don't think there is one right answer, but knowing what I know of God's heart, I believe He would want us to love to the fullest extent of our abilities.  To take His gift to us and make it explode.  Because true gratitude for Jesus' death comes with the understanding that we can never repay Him back.  But we can pass on the news.  

So, may your celebrations of Jesus' birth be filled with a warmth in your heart and a peace in your soul that only comes from knowing that we celebrate the most valuable gift ever given.