Searching for "The One"

THE CHECKLIST BOYFRIEND

When I was in middle school, I wrote a checklist of my requirements for my future husband.  Everything I wrote were good things.  I think its important to have some general personality traits in mind for your future spouse.  After all, you don't want to marry just anyone.

BUT...

I began to envision this one man out there specifically set aside by God for me.  I thought there was ONE guy, and I just had to find him in the sea of strangers.  Once I met him, everything would fall into place.

Everyone Should Work in Retail

You know what the solution is for world peace?  Have everyone work for at least 6 months at a retail or customer service position.

Because there is something powerful that happens when you're paid to serve people.

Oh, the stories I have...

I worked at Mervyn's shoe department for about a year and a half while in college.  I enjoyed my job, but boy, did I encounter some annoying people!  And now I have a bunch of funny stories to tell.

Why Manners Matter

Don't chew with your mouth open.

Don't put your elbows on the table.

Don't belch in public.  If you do burp, say, "Excuse me."  

Bring the food to your mouth, not your mouth to the food.

Don't pick your nose.


Have you ever asked yourself what is the point of manners?

They don't really do anything.  Not anything important anyway.  It's not like The Ten Commandments or the Amendments of the Constitution.  No one is going to get hurt or die if you put your elbows on the table.  Is there really a point to knowing which side of the plate the fork goes on?

Why I Go to the Movies

Dear friend,

If I ever go to the movies with you, I'm going because I want to spend time with you.

Granted, going to the movies is arguably one of THE worst ways to spend time with someone.  You are sitting in a dark room with a whole bunch of other strangers, eating high calorie foods, and staring at a screen together.  There is little interaction.  In fact, most wise people warn against the whole classic dinner and a movie date as a way to get to know anyone.

My Problem with Christians

I love God.  I love Jesus.  But sometimes, I have a really hard time loving His followers.

As a Christian myself, I look at our American church with a mix of admiration and disgust and disappointment.  In the end, when my passionate anger dies away, what is left is that lingering sadness.

I don't want to sound like I have all the answers because I don't.  But I think we're doing it wrong, guys.  Our focus is all off.  Even our well-intentioned efforts are only making it harder for us in the end.

The Slippery Slope of Tolerance

When I was in middle school, the faculty installed big banners that promoted positive thinking on the beams above the common areas.  They had words like Integrity, Respect, and Tolerance.  I remember some teachers start discussing what each of those words meant in class, probably some all-school program that I wasn't fully aware of.

In class, one of my teachers defined tolerance as accepting everyone's beliefs, even if they disagreed with you.  I remember her stressing this point, and even at the young age, I sensed that this word was an issue.  At the time, I couldn't understand why anyone would have a problem being tolerant.  If someone disagreed that handball wasn't the best playground sport, I wasn't going to hate him for saying that (even though handball IS the best playground sport).  Simple enough, right?

A Call for Christian Artists!

Dear Christian Artist,

For the purpose of this post, I am going to define "artist" as anyone who produces any creative work, such as a painter, a musician, a writer, a songwriter, a movie producer, an actor/actress, a photographer, etc.

You are rare! Did you know that? You are a rare gem in the Christian world. Why? Because in the creative field, there is more freedom. You know this. Your ability to create and to twist and to pull anything you feel like. That is the freedom I'm talking about. And, of course, the world has taken that opportunity, that freedom and used creative works to demonstrate perverted and vile things. Sex, immorality, rudeness, a blurring of the truth, etc. The world has taken the expression of the human self and used it to portray ungodly material. So, the Christians left that world, that creative sector.

Making Time for Fun

I've been asked the question by more than one person: "Cheryl, what do you do for fun?"

I have to pause and think about it.

They are asking the question seriously, and I guess its a serious problem that they have to ask that.  Most people have a hobby.  And I do have hobbies, things I enjoy doing.  It just seems like there is always something more important that my hobbies.

Porn or Pr0n: What's the Difference?!

There are certain "faux pas" words in our English language that are socially unacceptable to write or say.  I'm sure you can think of a few off the top of your head.

One of my friends used to always use the word "pr0n" instead of "pornography" or "porn," and it always struck me as odd.  Does switching the letters around and substituting a zero for the "o" really changing anything?  People who read what you typed understand that pr0n = porn so there is no difference in meaning.  Are there people who really are less offended because one attempted to "hide" the word?

You know you're an adult when...

Adulthood comes at different times in people's lives.  Sometimes its when you're 18, sometimes when you're 15 or sometimes when you're 55.  Some people never reach adulthood.

I believe being a "grown-up" demands a certain level of maturity.  It's not just owning a house or having a job.  Every adult may not be at the same level of maturity in each area of their lives.  Some adults are better at dealing with rude people; others better at standing up for justice.  But what is the common denominator in all adult behavior?

Never Ever Ever Ever Enough Time

If you really delve into this American society, one thing is pretty certain: you will never have enough time.

There are a million and one things demanding your time.  Exercise, self-improvement, hobbies, kids, church, work, work, and more work, family, friends, alone time, spouse time, music, Internet, Youtube, Facebook, Instagram, your phone, games, this blog, your blog, your hopes and your dreams.  Everything wants a piece of your precious time.

And guess what?  Time is the one of the few things you have that you cannot change.  You can improve your health.  You can earn more money.  You can get an education to gain more knowledge.  You can move up (or down) the social ladder, the economic ladder.  You can even change your gender if you want.  

But you cannot change how much time you have.  

Soap Box Booster Seats

A few weeks ago, I discussed a teenager's common search for identity...complete with a picture from my high school graduation! (Check it out here.) 

That post sparked a walk down memory lane.  I hope I never forget what it felt like to be a teenager.  There is something so valuable about that time in our lives, even if we are a bit embarrassed (okay, a lot embarrassed) by some of the things we did.

For instance, remember when you were so passionate about EVERYTHING?  And not only were you passionate about saving the whales or proper treatment of teenage workers, you wanted the ideal.  You worked toward how things should be and you did not stand for how things were.

So This Is Love...

"So this is love...mmmmm...so this is love."

It's a song familiar from my childhood.  My sisters and I used to watch Disney's version of Cinderella over and over and over again. (Click here to hear the song.)  Cinderella and Prince Charming dance, staring deep into each others eyes, and sing this song to each other in perfect harmony in their heads...or they are ventriloquists and can sing without moving their mouths.  (I always thought the fact that they weren't singing aloud odd as a child.)

Even though we know Cinderella is the epitome of fairy tale, movies such as these define love as moments of emotional bliss with another person.  Often times, subconsciously we are longing for these fleeting moments, and when they flee, we're desperately trying to experience that emotional high all over again.

You don't hear the strains of "So this is love..." while you're putting fresh sheets on the bed at 1:00 a.m. for your exhausted husband who has conked out on the couch after a long day.  You don't hear melodic birds twittering in the bathroom when you remind yourself you don't need to be right and apologize.  You don't feel the butterflies of first love in your stomach when you spend time with the in-laws, even though no one is speaking in English.

Too bad.  Maybe a little romantic music would make those things easier to do.

I doubt anyone would truly admit that their idea of true love is dependent upon fairy tales and Hollywood movies, but if we truly look deep down into the thoughts behind our actions, what ideal is guiding our decisions?

Even in myself, do I see myself yearning for something that seems authentic but is really just a moment of emotional bliss.  Love is really defined by the moments when you would love to do the unloving thing but you do the loving one instead.