Day 59

It is very quiet in the house when everyone has gone to sleep.  Normally, I'm not a friend of the quiet.  I usually have to play background noise such as music (although the television and conversation is exempt from this) to concentrate on anything, but there is definitely something about the hum of the night that makes me peaceful and reflective.  It happens often, and it often makes me want to write.

I somewhat despise that I don't function well on little sleep.  If I could, I could write for hours into the night and not be horribly affected the next day.  Sadly, my brain continually shuts off after midnight, even when I don't realize it, and the things I produce after midnight are either brilliant or mush.  Most often, its the latter.

As I've been reading up on writers, I'm beginning to see why some wait until everyone else has gone to bed to write.  Its the only time you don't have distractions.  Andrew Clements, one of my favorite children's authors, goes into a shed in his back yard to concentrate, locking himself up in a temperature-controlled room with a laptop and no Internet connection.  If only I were so brave.

The emphasis on work has been clearly drilled into my head.  Every writer has told me that if you want to be a good writer, you have to work.  That is the first step.  Only 2% of people who start a novel ever complete it, and even less of that 2% get published.  Troubling and quite a depressing figure, but it only makes it more of a success when one actually finishes a novel.  To think, you are in the top 2% of a group of something, and a large group at that.

I'm over 6 chapters into my novel which equals over 11,000 words.  Not that huge of a feat, but I am beginning to find myself more determined to finish this thing, even if never does get published.  The huge support from my boyfriend has been a big help.  Some people, many people, don't understand writers and their need for uninterrupted solitude.  Its not solitude really.  They are spending time with more "people" they love.  Their characters are things that writers hold very near and dear to them.  Its almost as if we write because we have to do our characters justice.

So, onward!  Off I go...another week.  I shall write blazingly.

Day 47

There is a distinction I must make about myself as a writer that I have not been able to accept just yet.

I am a storyteller.

This title of "storyteller" has many different connotations.  One of which, in the literary world, is negative.  For those of you who have partaken of this "world", the definition of the word "storyteller" pretty much is equated with a poor writer.  Its those writers who lower their standards either because they don't know what the high standards are or because they are forced to due to their lack of skills.  Either way, it is a demeaning title.

Every art has their snobbishness.  Fine arts, music, movie making, etc. all have their own level of the "in crowd" and the "not in crowd" which is distinguished by the amount of knowledge and/or skill that person has.  In the literary world, to be a true writer, one must write "literature".  This esteemed form of fiction (generally) is what one must achieve to truly be considered a writer.  Your work must have the potential to confuse and thus people can write literary essays on it.  Your work may even live beyond yourself.  THAT, my friends, its literature.

In those terms, I am not a writer.  I am a storyteller.  I write "genre fiction" or the stories that the general public can read and understand.  And if the general public can understand it, then it is obviously not genuine literature.

Half of the art of storytelling is learning to accept this fact.  I use the word "accept" here loosely because it can hold different meanings.  What I really mean to say is that you accept your position as a storyteller with pride and courage.  You understand that the belittling nature of the literary world is just merely so that there can be distinguishing factors.  You don't really worry about your work becoming the next thing college freshmen write their essays about.  You just want your work to be read and appreciated.  You want your characters to shine rather than spill your latest warped world view.  You embrace the intricacy of a story and how to tell it well.

I am a storyteller, but I'm still trying to fit in the shoes.  Only time will tell.

Day 25

I'm almost four weeks into writing my novel.  Has it really been that long?

I got no writing done last week because we had to put my dog to sleep and the whole week just got shot.  My efforts to write today were overrun with taking out trash, vacuuming, mopping, and trying to push some computer sense into my parents who were doing their taxes.

Its funny how a loss can turn your whole life upside down and shake it until all of the parts come lying at your feet.

Meanwhile, today's effort to sit and write was thwarted by my own lack of self discipline, but I hope that this week will be better.

Day 18

Today is my last day before I start working full time.  I am not sure if I am going to look forward to working full-time or going to dread it.  We'll see.

My writing will have to fall into the night hours from now on.  I hope that I will be successful.

A word about self-discipline.  You need an accountability partner.  Someone to keep you accountable.  Someone who is going to put pressure on you and look over your shoulder to make sure you are doing what you said you were going to do.

Writing a novel is an act of self-discipline.  It stretches and challenges you in many different ways, and you will need someone who will gently keep you accountable along the way.

Day 12

Stats:
16 pages, double-spaced
4562 words
Plot Summary completed

I am not a very good writer.  I'm not very dedicated and I tend to write in spurts.

Also, I have been embarking on this novel mission like it were a short story, and I am beginning to quickly find that the battle is very different.   You have to do your prep work before you start off, something I did not do.  A short story you can just walk around in the dark for awhile, flip on a dimmer switch, and you've got a story.  A novel is quite different because you have to decode all of the circuitry in the room.


I have not been super productive, which I guess is understandable.  I feel like I'm still waiting to go back into school mode.  Its an odd feeling, especially since the new quarter was today and I checked my last quarter's grades for the last time.

Tomorrow is my third to last day to write fully, and I am disappointed in my progress.  Although, I guess that these empty days have more been days to catch up on things, which I have done as well.  I'm just trying to figure out how to make writing something that holds the same or higher priority.

When it all comes down to it, writing is just a juggle of priorities, I think.

Day 5

I am day five into the writing of my first novel since middle school, and I am starting this blog as a way of motivating myself.  I came into writing this novel with the understanding that it was going to be work, but I still did not know exactly what to expect. 


Having written for my writing professors for so long, it feels sinful to write genre fiction.  Not just genre fiction, young adult genre fiction.  Its even worse.  I read the words I type and know there is no character development, there is no depth, and the writing sounds so much like what I typed in middle school.  Did I learn nothing and just take steps backward?  Reverting to what I loved to do when I was little? 


This is all going through my head when I write, and it makes it difficult to write without confidence.  Confidence in what you are writing makes a big difference.  Also, feeling like you are writing something worthwhile makes a big difference too.  And approximately 9 pages into it, I feel neither.  I'm pushing myself along because I promised I would, but its been tough going so far.  Tomorrow is my second fully open day to write, so we'll see how that goes. 


For now, I am putting myself here for the purpose of keeping to my guns.  A sort of Julia & Julia moment, but without the second Julia.  I'm just writing for the purpose of writing.  Here's to perseverance.

Soli Deo Gloria.