My Right to Be Angry

You might be like me, and have a few people that you are continuously angry with.  For me, they have done "legitimate" harm to me; they've hurt me.  While I am not without fault, I was definitely wronged by most people's standards.

I'm so tired of carrying around the emotional weight, but I can't seem to let it go.  How in the world am I supposed to forgive them?  I wish it were just as easy as throwing something away or taking off a heavy jacket. 

Did you know that the origin of the word "forgiveness" comes from the Old English forgiefan "give, grant, allow; forgive," also "to give up" and "to give in marriage;" from for- "completely" + giefan "give"? 

The modern sense of "to give up desire or power to punish" is from use of the compound as a Germanic loan-translation of Latin 'perdonare'. (Source: Online Etymology) 

In other words, forgiveness means completely giving up of your right to be angry.

Well, sorta.  It's not a bad thing to be angry.  It's a bad thing when you carry around emotional baggage, grudges, or other pent up negative energy because someone has done something bad to you.

That's what I mean by your "right to be angry".  Forgiveness means giving THAT up.

Why You Need to Pause Before Posting

 We live in a different age.  Having been born on the tail end of the "Gen Y" group, just missing being stuck in "Gen Tech" by a few years,  I was able to see the world before and after the invasion of the Internet.

They define the Gen Tech generation as those who do not remember life before Internet.  They may have been born before Internet was widely available in the common American home, but they weren't old enough to remember those times.

Me?  I remember playing in the mud, walking up to my neighbor's house and asking if Katie could come out and play, and rollerblading and biking until the sun went down.

I don't want to sound old and "bash" on technology.  This digital age is both exciting and frightening, and while most youth toot how awesome all of these fast-paced technological advances are for mankind, I'd like to offer the alternate view.

I'm Married and I Miss Being Single

I'm married, and I'm telling you guys...if you're single, that's okay.

I actually miss being single in some ways.  I miss the freedom, the flexibility and the independence.  My calendar only had one set of appointments on it: mine.  If something came up, I didn't have to ask someone if I could go out.  I just did.  My goals were mine, and I didn't have to run them by someone.  If I had an idea, I could just go for it. Nothing held me back. I could focus on what I wanted to do. I could focus more on God (although I didn't always do that, to be honest).

Don't get me wrong. I love marriage.  I love being married to my high school sweetheart, sharing my life with someone.  That does include asking permission and running ideas by my husband first, and that's a beautiful and wonderful thing. 

But just because I love where I am now doesn't mean I can't miss what I used to have.

It's Time to Burn Those Self-Esteem Posts

I'm on Facebook, browsing through my Newsfeed, and then I get bombarded by all of these posts telling me one thing:

YOU. THINK ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE IMPORTANT. YOU'RE SPECIAL. YOU'RE LOVED. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF.

There are plenty of people who struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence.  And I'm sure that these people really find these types of posts encouraging.

But I think some of them need to get burned.

I use the word burned not to insinuate violence but to mean disappear without a trace.  They need to leave and take their influence with them.  I want them incinerated.

I'm being overly opinionated, and I might not be right.  I have to admit that I don't really know what it feels like to lack confidence in myself.  In fact, I should probably distributing some of my confidence to other people; I have too much for just one person.

BUT I still feel like I have a point here.

Downton Abbey in America

Season 4 just ended, and as always, I'm left in a dreamy state.  There's something so attractive about Downton Abbey.  You can't help but wish to be a part of the British aristocracy and feel pity and admiration for the working class that run the estate.  So appreciate PBS's attention to historical detail, capturing the drama that occurred as the world changed its course in the early 1900s. 

In Season 4, Episode 5, the Countess of Grantham says to her maid Baxter that she was attending a charity function.  When asked what she would like to wear, the Countess said she does not want to make anyone feel bad.

The scene, though minor, caught my attention. It shone light on what we knew but hadn't brought to the forefront of our minds: Image is so important to the aristocracy.  What you wear, who you marry, how you talk, what words you say.  The package that you present to the social public is important. You have the choice, even if you are of a higher status than the rest, to be thoughtful about what you wear.  It was a business decision to make sure that you carry yourself a certain way.  It was a way of life.

THE UPPER CLASS IN AMERICA

This sounds shallow to us with a 21st Century American middle class mindset.  We value freedom, individuality, being able to be who we want to be.

But the reality is that mindset still exists with us today.

Fading: Our Journey with Alzheimer's

I grew up thinking my grandparents would live forever.  I have been privileged to know all four of them, seeing them on a regular basis.  They look the same year-to-year, so it never seemed like they were aging as a child.

Then my grandpa starting forgetting people's names.

It's the story of Alzheimer's you usually hear.  It was just different to experience it first hand.

My grandpa has always been a very slow, deliberate person.  He takes time to think before he talks, while his wife and kids zoom ahead in the conversation.  So, at first, his memory loss was hard to detect because it fit in with his personality.

As things progressed, it became more apparent when he couldn't remember his granddaughters' names or when he got frustrated when the day's schedule varied.

Our family began to ask, "What can we do to help?"

Valentine's Day vs. S.A.D.

It's that time of year again.  Be prepared for the onslaught of social media posts!

One half of them would bat their eyelashes if they could, dripping with the sappy and overly intimate details of what couples did to celebrate the Day of Love.  Complete with emoticon hearts and kisses.

The other half will be so chock full of cynicism and bitterness that you get choked by it when you innocently walk by.  Then shove a murdered cupid in your face.

Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit.  But you get the picture.

Let's just say there are many extreme emotions being expressed around this time of year!

What's the deal?

Why I Hate Make Up

I posted a photo of myself with make-up on and in the caption made the comment that I hated make-up.

Quite a few girls commented.

"Huh?"
"What?"
"But you look so good!"

I tried to explain in a few words but couldn't quite get them to understand: I have a love hate relationship with make-up.

The reasons why I like it are pretty obvious; it makes you look good.  Here is why I hate it: