I've often heard the phrase, "High school years are the best ones of your life," but I've never heard anyone pipe up and say, "Yep! That was true for me!"
I don't hate my memories from high school (there are definitely many fond ones), but there are many memories that, as a young adult, I wish I could hide in a box with a lock. We do some ridiculous things in those years when many of us are searching for an identity.
Don't you remember that time? You wanted to be like something. Everyone was categorized and typecasted to make it easier to become that role. Some people changed their identities overnight; some even changed their entire circle of friends just as fast.
Admit it. 99.99999% of writers hate editing our work. But its necessary 100% of the time.
If you follow my Twitter, I recently bemoaned the fact that I realized I needed to change my entire novel to first person POV.
I was dreading the work. It was enough brain-numbing work to sit down and just edit my old chapters for consistency, plot, character, big picture questions, etc. etc. Now I would have to go through and recheck/change every single pronoun and verbTOO?!
Needless to say, I was doing my writer whining. I tried the "Find and Replace" feature (word to the wise, it doesn't work). I tried just skimming and changing each pronoun and verb. That didn't work either. I would miss ones and some sentences would just not sound right.
So, I printed out my old draft and began retyping into a new Word document. I would see the sentence, "She ran through the castle," and type, "I ran through the castle." It seems the long-way to do it, but it was much better. Here are the reasons why:
A few days ago, I wrote a post on stepping outside of one's comfort zones in social situations and the importance of spending time with people. You can check that out here!
Now, there is a caveat to my advice:
Remember to rest.
Its seems the older we get, the busier we get, and the busier we get, the less rest we get. Sometimes I get caught up in all of the attempts to be socially active, and I get burnt out. I'm just tired. My brain doesn't work, I'm forgetful, I say stupid things, I'm short-tempered. So, its important to set aside time for yourself to recuperate from life.
Rest comes in many different forms:
Sometimes, that's being alone and doing things you love.
Sometimes, that means spending time with people who are easy to hang out with. Let's be honest. Its relaxing to hang out with some people; its NOT relaxing to hang out with others, no matter what you do together!
Sometimes, it means taking yourself out of society for awhile. Turn off your phone. Go to someplace that brings you peace and just sit.
Whatever it may be for you, schedule time to rest. If you don't schedule it, life won't give you an opportunity. You have to be proactive.
From one "I'd rather be at home than out in with large group of people" person to another, I have one thing to say to you:
Your company is valuable.
I write this to all of those people who would much rather spend an intimate evening with a small group of friends or one-on-one with someone rather than be in a huge group. I'm like you. I'd much rather spend my evening home with my husband than out at a bar. Claustrophobia, anyone?
However, I've had to come to grips with the fact that being out in the world socially is important. God's given each person unique and wonderful personality traits that are meant to be USED for others. If we selfishly stay at home all the time because its more comfortable for us, we're not exploring the many ways that God can use our gifts to bless others.
I struggled with this over the holidays when there are a myriad of Christmas parties to go to. As a result, I'd go to social events cranky because I kept concentrating on where I'd rather be than where I was.
I'm not saying every person needs to make themselves into a social butterfly; all I'm saying is I need to make more of an effort to touch other people's lives. And that often requires you to be in uncomfortable social situations. Will you join me?
There is always that awkward person in the crowd. Hang out with them. Find that wallflower and go talk to them. Spend a little bit of time talking to people you don't know. Stay away from the cliques. Notice the group that's always ostracized and be there. Ostracize yourself for the sake of others.
You never know how valuable your company might be to someone else's day...or even their life. And guess what? You might just get something out of it too.
The magnitude of this little thing called an online blog sometimes escapes me. I post my own two cents on this website, and the whole world can read it. Wow. Does that strike you as a little scary and super exciting?
I was looking at my blog stats today a noticed a common theme among my most read-posts of 2012. Not only did these blog posts receive the most "hits", but they received three to four times more reads than my average hit count per post.
It was interesting to see what really resonated with people, and I found a common theme: authentic relationships. It gives me some hope knowing that my Internet audience, whoever that may be, thinks authenticity, bravery, and relationships important.
Thanks for taking the time to read my little thoughts. I appreciate it, and I'd love to interact with you. Feel free to comment!
My writing professor in college, Ron Carlson, told me not to go toward my MFA right away; he told me to get some life experience first. Now, two years after graduation, I understand a little more about what he wanted me to learn.
I guess that is what my blog is about: my experiences, things I've learned, things I'm thinking about and digesting. To me, portraying life is what writing is all about.
With that being said, recently I've been making the transition in my life from "my" to "our". After you get married, you are expected for "two to become one flesh". It's a concept that I hadn't truly began to understand until recently. In no other time in my life have I really been asked to share truly everything that I have.
Any decision I make is now our decision. Any purchase my husband makes is now our purchase. Any choice that my husband makes is now my choice too. Our house. Our car. Our clothes. Our laundry. Our dirty dishes. Our family. Our life.
I was writing thank you notes today for Christmas gifts. I had to remind myself to say, "We are so excited about this gift," instead of "I loved your gift!".
Coming at life with this understanding that everything is shared changes everything. Your life is not the only one on the line; both parties will suffer whatever consequences you make.
What can sound ominous and scary actually brings comfort too. Our burdens. Our problems. They are no longer something that I need to handle on my own. We're in this together.
My understanding of marriage as a symbol of God's relationship with Him deepens and grows every day. This transition, though difficult at times, is yet another blessing God has given me, given us.
Today, I was marveling at the power of commitment. I said to my husband recently how comforting it was to know that I was stuck with him, 'til death do us part.
I dated my husband, Jon, for almost 8 years before we got married. For most, that is an insane amount of time to be dating, yet even despite the years together, our commitment was still conditional. I remember we would be arguing or struggling through a particular issue, and I would wonder, "Is this man the one I want to spend the rest of my life with?" I would question whether or not God wanted me to marry this man. My commitment to our dating relationship was strong but conditional; I was prepared to leave if it were for the best for us as individuals.
Now, we're married. I never got a word from God to break up, and He eventually led Jon to lead us to marriage. A phrase we'd grown fond of that we added to our marriage vows was, "No Matter What." To us, it was a phrase that symbolized our unconditional commitment to each other. Little did I know exactly what that would mean.
It is so comforting to know that Jon will not leave me, no matter what. It makes me feel so secure knowing that I will always have someone by my side, who cares for my well-being. We aren't perfect, and there will be times along the way that we make mistakes, both big and small, but there is such a power in even our attempt at unconditional love for each other.
I can't even imagine the truly unconditional love that God has for us. If my love for my husband and his love for me makes me feel this secure, how much more God's love for me should turn my world upside down. To have the Creator of the Universe promise to you, "I love you no matter what that not even death nor life, angels nor demons can take you away from my love for you," is something that I cannot even begin to unfold.
aka How to Appreciate Modern Plumbing & Hot Water More aka First World Problems
My water heater recently broke. The hubby said the pilot light wouldn't light and all that. Most of it went over my head. All I knew was there wasn't hot water for my shower, and it was winter. As for me, my skin and scalp in less than 24 hours get as greasy as a bacon pan, so I need my shower every day.
Desperate and unwilling to take a shower in the frigid waters of the Arctic, I did the following:
1) I took my largest pot and filled it with water. I lugged it to my stove and brought it to a boil. Took awhile. It was a large pot of cold water, so its understandable.
2) I filled my tub with about two inches of cold water. I dumped about a quarter of the hot water in, so it would be tolerable to sit in the tub.
3) I used a pitcher of water to pour the hot water on myself. I would mix it with the cold water from the bottom of the tub at first because the water was so hot. Later, it cooled enough.
3.5) My husband had the absolutely BRILLIANT idea of pulling the room heater into the bathroom. He turned it on high, and because the bathroom is such a small room, the room heated up in a few minutes.
4) Washed my hair twice, conditioned it, washed my body, and washed my face. Felt a little exotic, like bathing underneath a warm tropical waterfall. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration due to the fact that I was relishing in the hot water. (And note: it had only been 36 hours since my last hot shower.)
5) I had a third of the pot left at the end of the day to just pour over my face and body and indulge!
So, that is how I did it, for anyone who was wondering. And for those who are thinking this is "TMI" for you, my apologies for making you feel awkward.
Funny how taking one "simple" thing away as a hot water heater made me that much more thankful for hot water. And funny how living for 48 hours without a water heater can cause such a disruption in my life when people across the world don't even get clean water on a daily basis, much less clean hot water to shower in.
According to the first link on a quick Google search, the average shower head is using 2.5 gallons of water per minute. So a 10-minute shower uses 25 gallons of water. And I just used less than probably three gallons to wash myself this way.
I'm not here to bash the wastefulness of America or harp on our society's water usage. I'm just concentrating on thankfulness. 48-hours and a new water heater later (Yay for my hubby, my water heater hero), I can say that I have a new appreciation for my hot showers.
And just to be super appreciative of this piece of technology, here is a picture of our new water heater. Ta da!
And if you also from FWP, check out this video to help you here!
